Criminal Syndicate Seeks to Join Fraternal Order of Police

          Bluffer Street Boyz in new gang attire; hoping to impress F.O.P. by standing in line.

A criminal syndicate known as the Bluffer Street Boyz announced today that it is seeking to join the Fraternal Order of Police. "We consider ourselves an elite criminal gang," said masked Boyz spokesman, Toggle, "and joining the cop union seemed like a natural fit. We are expert at committing the crimes. They are expert at keeping criminals out of jail."

To prove his point, Toggle pulls a tattered, folded, soiled news clipping from the Star Tribune from the rear end of his low-hanging jeans.  It begins: "Since 2000, at least 143 people in Minnesota have died after being shot, Tased or restrained by a police officer. To date, not a single officer has been charged in any of those deaths."

"Those are the kind of results we're after," Toggle explained.  "And remember that cop in Baltimore who slit a restrained dog's throat?  He was let go.  Free -- and got almost fifty grand in back pay!  Boom!  That is what I'm talking about!"

Toggle regains his composure: "That would be gold for the Bluffer Street Boyz.  We kill a lot of family pets to, you know, 'send a message.'

"Or, look at the cop in New York who ran over a pedestrian who had the right of way," Toggle opined.  "It was on video, for fuck's sake!  Even the boyz at the clubhouse thought for sure the cop would at least be charged, to, you know, at go through the motions.  But nah!  She walked.  She wasn't summonsed or charged by NYPD, nothing.  That would really work for me and the Boyz, cuz we get tied up a lot with traffic violations.  Number of times I tell those motherfuckers to take some driving lessons, they get they asses pulled over all the damn time.  And that's where the cop union'd come in and make everything ah-ight."

The Fraternal Order of Police had no immediate comment regarding the Bluffer Street Boyz request for representation, though an insider who asked to remain unnamed says the gang's chances of being accepted are better than they think.