Never mind the dodo bird or the blue-billed flat-footed snark.
There is no animal more rare or endangered in this world than the Sasquatch.
And yet, some irresponsible free-marketeer has not only captured the few remaining Sasquatches roaming our remote, mountain passes, he's making jerky out of them!
I'm no vegetarian. I'll eat a Spam sandwich alongside the most dedicated carnivores, but what I will never is consume the flesh of so rare and mysterious a creature as the legendary Sasquatch.
Hell, I didn't even know we had confirmation of their existence until I saw this abomination standing on my local convenience store counter.
Rather than putting one of these creatures on exhibit where law-abiding, curious, science-minded folk could gawk, poke and throw M&Ms at it, our few remaining Sasquatches are being eaten the rancid, turpentine-in-their-veins jerky crowd.
Hopefully this blog will mobilize the militant arm of crypto zoologists to take action against this outrage.
Until then I'm going to grudgingly enjoy a plateful of baby seal kebabs.