FAIRFAX, Virginia -- Yet another expectant mother was rushed to hospital earlier today after suffering a gunshot wound, in another of what appears to be an epidemic of such attacks upon pregnant women. Ever since the Fetus Defense Act (FDA) was made law, giving a green light to the National Rifle Association (NRA) and anti-abortion organization, Stop Abortions Now! (SAN), to arm fetuses, there has been a troubling spate of accidental, in utero shootings.
"The unborn have every right
to defend themselves, as guaranteed by the Second Amendment of the
Constitution," said Constance Goldschmirk, executive director of SAN.
"When the NRA reached out to us about this issue, it just made sense we
join forces in the current political climate where the rights of the
unborn are under constant challenge."
With fears of crime and
terrorism on the rise, pregnant women have been standing in long lines
at FDA kiosks at discount retailers, DMV offices and private clinics
specializing in the procedure, seeking extra protection for their unborn
children. Ironically, the medical procedure that actually places the
miniaturized firearms into the hands of fetuses is hauntingly similar to
the very abortion procedure FDA advocates seek to prevent.
in utero firearm-discharge incidents are regrettable, but a very small
price to pay in order to protect our most valuable natural resource: our
unborn children," says National Rifle Association CEO, Wayne LaPierre.
"On the whole, the NRA's mantra is being proven true every day: more
guns equals more safety."
Not everyone is convinced. Pro Choice
advocate, Kathy Rebar, is incredulous. "Arming fetuses?" she says with
an obvious air of disbelief. "I mean, they are putting guns into the
hands of unborn children! We believe expectant mothers have every right
in the world to protect their babies, but why do
this with lethal weapons? Why wouldn't the FDA have mandated the use of
brass knuckles, pepper spray or telescoping batons, instead? Why was the lethal
option the first one FDA advocates went to?"
expectant moms who've been injured by fetal misfirings express any
regrets. "It's my right to arm my baby!" says Cindy Trifle, of Corpus
Christi, Tennessee. "I just wish her little hands could hold a bigger
"I firmly believe my baby pulled the trigger because he
sensed danger," says Meredith Medak of Blood-on-the-Cross, South
"Some people say, 'If God wanted your unborn baby to
have a gun, He'd a put one in your womb-place to begin with!'" says
Taila Meechum of Judas Iscariot Falls, Arkansas. "Well, I tell those
big mouth liberal pansies, 'Yeah? God don't need to put a gun in my baby nest . He sent Wayne LaPierre to do that!'"
If the issue of
arming the unborn were not contentious enough, civil rights groups are
entering the fray with charges of racism. There is a growing number of
cases in which non-white babies have been arrested for possession of firearms
upon being born.
"There are cases in which hospitals offer to
bronze the guns that white babies are born with," says Jamal Shaka,
communications director of the Black Frontier movement. "But babies of
color are being arrested, sometimes tasered, even before they are placed
in their mommas' arms! This is an outrageous double-standard!"
Numbers backing up these allegations are sparse. Much of the data is anecdotal. And still the debate rages . . .