Banksters, use your evil genius for good!

Stomach-turning Reddit headline #451,985: A significant number of people being foreclosed on HAVE NEVER MISSED A PAYMENT. Banks delay processing payments to incur late fees unbeknownst to the borrower, which fees are fraudulently deducted from the next payment, which incurs more late fees ..., which results in a foreclosure.

Banksters and Wall Street economic terrorist thugs have more ways to torment the American people than Ted Bundy had for his victims.

Understood.

Now, why doesn't someone turn America's financial nuclear arsenal upon the enemy?

By this I mean: Conscript your leading high-powered financial fraudsters to cook up a number of products that, say, China, Russia, Saudi Arabia -- whoever is on the U.S. "do-not-invite" list -- will buy up.

Then, just as they've done to the American people, U.S. covert banksters can tank those financial products sold to the landlord-enemy, bringing about a two-fold effect:

(1) Destroying the economies of the enemy;
(2) Earning oodles of cash to pay down the deficit

In my neighborhood, someone would shout out at this point, "Now, that's thinking!"

The banksters and Wall Street goons-in-suits cold keep 1 percent of the filthy lucre, but the rest would go toward balancing the United States federal budget.

Done . . . and done.

I know in the empty chest cavity where a heart should exist inside a bankster is warmed by torturing and tricking fellow citizens, but maybe the sick carnival of the U.S. stock market could take a couple quarters off and aim all of that financial destruction where it's needed.

Because, as Wikileaks keeps remind us: America has lots of enemies.

Keeping a watchful eye so you don't have to

Douchey Hair; Heroic Soul

DADT - try service without the guns

Lindsey Graham: 'Don't Ask Don't Tell Is Not Going Anywhere'

A Final Push To Repeal 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell'

I heard an interview with a gay former marine who was drummed out of the service based upon rumors and angry subordinate had begun about him. Turned out the rumor was true, but, essentially based upon lies and hearsay, this young marine lost his career.

I say good.

I don't say that because I'm homophobic, but because I think the more people who can be yanked out of harm's within America's war machine, the better.

The strange thing about this young marine -- he volunteers with a local chapter of Log Cabin Republicans.

Yeah -- the party that despises him and fights every step of the way to limit the rights of homosexuals, is a recipient of his volunteerism.

When asked if he would like to serve in the military again, the former marine said that he would, but probably in the reserves. But he stressed that he felt he had a call to service.

Too bad he feels that call is to fight the wars on behalf of those who openly despise him -- illegitimate wars where the casualties are predominantly civilians.

Also, too bad the young former marine doesn't see volunteering in an American community as service -- and not with the billion dollar rightwing party that hates him.

Schools. Literacy programs. Soup kitchens. Retirement homes. The myriad poor, wretched, stepped-upon and discarded.

As I listened to the interview with this marine, I heard a voice speaking in between the lines, an intimation that was needed in order to make sense of the young marine's idea of service: "But I like to shoot people. I feel I'm called to service, but that service must involve shooting people. Sorry."

Weirdos of America wonder . . .

In the face of being subjected to either an invasive body scan that effectively renders a nude photograph of the air traveler or enduring an "enhanced pat down" that involves one having his genitals touched numerous times by strangers . . .

Weirdos of America wonder: "Is it possible to have both?"

Obesity riddle solved

Tl;dr version "Eat a lot of shit, you get fucking fat."

Science version.

Societies always end up with the shoppers they deserve

Sarah Palin, trailblazer

The "bend over and take it" brigade continues to grow

Maybe they'll all band together and we'll see them on a flotilla headed over to Fox News.

You know them -- the Bend Over and Take It Brigade.

The spineless, obedient, compliant urinalists who are taking to the airwaves and the Web begging everyone who's ire is up over TSA "enhanced pat downs" and body imaging scanners, to shut up, obey and be good, groveling grubs of the State.

Fuck that. And fuck these unprincipled, frightened rabbits feverishly penning articles about how Opt-Out Day is terrible because it's causing the Security State a little dyspepsia.

Fuck you, cowards.

Thanks to the cowards among us, we've got the PATRIOT Acts I and II.

Thanks to the hand-wringing, obedient enablers and apologists, we've got the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq.

Thanks to this abhorrent mentality that believes the impossible -- that one can trade freedom for security -- we've got an out-of-control TSA groping and snapping nude scans of air travelers.

So long as we listen to the cowards in our midst, like Rosa Golijan writing for Gizmodo, Chris Matthew, host of MSNBC's Hard-on and William Saletan writing for Slate, citizens will have to continue running the groping gauntlet in airports across the US.

Moreover, so long as we listen to these cowards, we can look forward to similar treatment when boarding trains, buses and boats. Hell, I'm sure the Security State cowards will rail to have body scanners and gropers installed at the entrances of shopping malls.

Please, members of the Bend Over and Take It Brigade, take you're quivering, frightened, passive, compliant, eager-to-please-the-State selves down to your bomb shelters and lock the door.

Enjoy your security.

What did in Tom DeLay

Equation provided by Paul A. Toth

Ambition

Inanem Animum Torqueri Language*

*Empty mind tortured language

Newly uncovered evidence proves that Julius Caesar was assassinated by a lone nut

Historians with a specialty in Ancient Rome have made a startling breakthrough -- definitive proof has finally be found that proves Julius Caesar was not stabbed in the Senate, as previously believed, but shot in the back of the head by a sniper firing from the sixth floor of a vomitorium.

Centuries of debate will be laid to rest and an entire cottage industry surrounding Caesar assassination conspiracy theories will soon be out of business.

Former L.A. District Attorney, Vincent Bugliosi, is said to be completing a 2,000 page book on the subject, tentatively titled I Fucking Told You So!

No word yet on Caesar's lone assassin at this point and no prognostications as to what the lone killer's motive might have been.

Letter to Minister of Transport Chuck Strahl re: body imaging machines in Canadian airports

Dear Mr. Stahl:

I love Canada -- particularly our reputation as peace-keepers and freedom-loving outdoors folks.

We are not paranoid like the United States, though we're not blind to the threats that exist in modern life.

After reading the horror stories about the Transportation Security Administration's debacle with its body imaging machines and "enhanced pat downs" of air travelers in the United States, I'm writing to voice my grave opposition to such machines and molestation of Canadian air travelers in order to board a flight.

I write with particular vigilance because the Conservative government has continually shown contempt for Canadian sovereignty -- handing Marc Emery over to US authorities, providing the names of passengers on flights that aren't even landing in the US, etc. -- and so I fear the Harper government will embrace a needless and harmful crackdown on the Canadian citizenry in the form of full body scanners and enhanced pat downs in our own airports.

An article appeared in April, which stated: "An Israeli security expert told Canadian officials their multi-million-dollar investment in full-body scanners for airports across the country was 'useless' and could easily be hoodwinked by terrorists."

When I fly, it's convenient for me to leave from an American airport. Due to their intrusive body scanning machines and unconstitutional pat downs, I will no longer enter an American airport.

My hope is that Canada will approach the issue of airport security in a rational, measured manner.

The United States had the great misfortune of a compromised head of Homeland Security, Michael Chertoff, who -- in his last days in the post -- trumpeted the need for full body scanners throughout American airports, only to leave public life, become a lobbyist and take on as a client a maker of body scanner machines.

That was clearly a baldfaced conflict of interest; a decision having everything to do with personal greed and gain and nothing to do with actual security.

I hope the Harper government will not fall prey to the same chicanery.

Because, if it does, I will simply opt not to fly at all. And I know that I am not alone.

Actor Billy Bob Thornton makes surprise visit to Windsor, Ontario

Michael Jerkoff and "How I learned to love body scanners and stop worrying"

TSA's Nude Scanners, Former Homeland Security Head Chertoff, and How Our Government Works

I admire Michael Jerkoff as much as the next guy for his rumored battle against AIDS, but I do not abide Jerkoff's use of his former position with the Department of Homeland Security to shill for unnecessary body scanners in the nation's airports.

The decisions Michael Jerkoff has made to repel gossip about his struggle with AIDS have been laudable, but I can do nothing but shake my head with sincerest disgust his lobbying on behalf of body imaging companies, and profiting, personally, as the rights of air traveling citizens are stripped away.

Jerkoff's oft-whispered battle with AIDS can in no way be compared to the so-called "war on terrorism."

What Jerkoff does on his own time, with his own body, is his business.

But when he turns around and so boldly and egregiously plays upon fears while using his former position of power to make a buck -- that's where I draw the line.

So, hopefully the AIDS rumors will one day go away and Michael Jerkoff will be judged upon his real actions and not those heaped in glowing gossip.

Trials of a Clown

Meet Canada's newest comedian!

Take his wife -- please!

Assistant Crown attorney Paul Alexander is no ordinary comic, so don't expect him to perform in an ordinary comedy club.

No, Mr. Alexander's venue of choice for his antics and whimsy is . . . the courtroom.

He is so serious about his craft that he recently caused a mistrial when when some gloomy-Guses in the jury sent a note to the judge saying a man in the front row of the gallery was making them uncomfortable as he made strange faces during testimony.

Some people just can't take a joke!

Sorry, for those who are weak at heart, maybe Mr. Alexander's performances aren't for you. He pulls no punches. If you're boring on the witness stand, he'll roll his eyes like a Vienna clown. If you're funny on the stand, he'll silently guffaw like a modern day Puccini. If you cry on the stand . . . well, that clown at heart, Mr. Alexander, will do all he can to turn your frown upside down!

The Canadian news is making a very big deal out of the mistrial. Yet again, the Canadian Criminal Justice system is taking itself too seriously and scape-goating a person who's trying to lighten things up.

Regarding the mistrial, Attorney General Chris Bentley said, "I've been involved in the criminal justice system for 30 years, and I can’t say that I’ve heard of a similar circumstance. It’s just very, very unusual."

Well, Mr. Bentley isn't known for his funny bone.

Chief prosecutor John Ayre has launched an investigation. Booo! Well, no one ever accused Mr. Ayre of knowing a good joke when he heard one.

As the Christmas season approaches, Mr. Alexander is going to be in high demand, mugging and clowning at trials across Canada. Book him now or you'll have to wait until next year. This man is in demand!

Stuck in the Middle with You

Article: Airport Screeners: Denied radiation badges?

It's the age-old battle -- the Philistines against the Rabble.

Executives who never come within a hundred miles of the front lines of their operations have always made dim-witted decrees that the powerless front line minions have had to carry out.

It's the same anywhere:

Some hydrocephalic suit at the headquarters of Tim Horton's, for instance, decides the best way to compete with Starbucks is to have Tim Horton's employees introduce themselves and get to know customers through the drivethru speaker in order to recreate that "Starbucks ambiance".

It's about as effective as putting a bow tie on Mr. Goodwrench.

And so the oxygen-starved braintrust of the Transportation Security Administration decided that Michael Chertoff's shilling for body imaging machines in early 2010 constituted a step forward in airport security, and thus decreed that air travelers be subjected to nude (albeit, inverted) photography in order to board flights.

The rat-maze of Janet Napolitano's mind didn't conceive that anyone would have a problem with this.

Had she gone through a body imaging machine and ensured the nude photograph of herself was duly deleted? That she came through with her health intact?

No.

But we live in a "Do as a I say, not as I do" world, so the point is moot.

So, for the growing numbers of air travelers who don't feel comfortable having naked (albeit, inverted) scans of themselves taken and merely trusting that those scans are deleted as the TSA states, a method of hands-on persuasion had to be applied to the air traveling public.

Literally.

In the form of "enhanced pat downs."

Or, as my dates in college used to call it -- molestation.

The cries of wrongdoing from the air traveling public are legitimate. Some travelers have undergone brutal treatment -- psychologically, if not physically as well -- at the hands of TSA agents going about the course of their duties.

And the same old "us vs. them" grudge match has materialized -- one powerless group sniping and fist-shaking at another powerless group.

All while the hydrocephalic Ivy Leaguers sit back in executive suites and congratulate themselves on how they're making the world a better place.

So, I wasn't surprised to see on Gawker TSA Agents Hate Touching Your Junk.

But the powers-that-be retain their power by having the Great Unwashed fight among themselves.

Hence, this awkward ode acknowledging that the individual TSA agents aren't the problem. They've gotten as raw a deal as air travelers.

Yeah, it's got to be terrible being a TSA agent these days.

That said, TSA agents, could you institute some sort of program of shunning aimed at the assholes who do enjoy the humiliation and inconvenience heaped upon travelers?

And if you could, particularly, single-out the true scumbags in your midst, such as the "heads up, got a cutie for you" crowd?

On a completely unrelated note: Can you imagine the pat downs happening before passengers get on flights going out of Vatican City?

Re: Body scanners -- if the US population is for them, then they must be OK

Hurrah for freedom! The People will out!

ABC/WaPo Poll: Americans Support Body Scanners 64% to 32%.

Excellent.

This from a populace that believed George W. Bush's bogus claims that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and Bush's, Dick Cheney's and many other Bushco administration figures who claimed there was a link between Iraq and the 911 attacks.

By September 2003, 70 percent of the US population believed Saddam was linked to the 911 attacks.

Polls expressing the opinion of the least informed populace on the planet are amusing and entertaining, but they are, ultimately, completely unhelpful for basing a case.

Americans are in favor of body scanners until they have to go through one.

Just like they're against government spending -- until it affects their Medicare or Social Security or government contract.

It's all part of being NIMBY Nation. So long as the problem isn't in their backyard, US citizens really don't give a shit.

Slate Magazine: home of jellyfish urinalists who use their bully pulpits to ask everyone to disengage

It's a guilty pleasure, like watching COPS or NBC Nightly News -- every once in a while I read Slate.

I know, I know, it's a rudderless online rag that employs such luminaries as Eliot Spitzer, but once in a while . . . well, hell, I check in.

But guilty pleasure or not, lately I'm wondering if Slate writers aren't a bunch of boot-licking, lock-step conformists whose bowels turn to water at the merest whiff of social or political engagement by the rabble.

There was Timothy Noah in October, with a nonsensical article about why John Stewart's and Stephen Colbert's rallies to Restore Sanity/Keep Fear Alive were a waste of time: Stay Home! The case against the Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear.

Obviously never having read Voltaire or Swift or Twain, Noah wants comedians to make him laugh and politicians to politic.

The idea of anyone in Noah's sphere being more than one thing unnerves him; makes him dyspeptic and goads him into writing foolish articles.

Or, as comedians, Stewart and Colbert have abdicated being citizens, as well.

Noah's got it all wrong -- it's politicians who cease to be mere citizens once they get the job.

Now there is William Saletan and his article The idiocy of airport-scanner "Opt-Out Day."

Opt-Out Day won't have any effect?

From the article: "Ignore these imbeciles. Their plan would clog security lines and ruin your holiday for no good reason. They don't understand the importance of the electronic scans. They're wrong about the scanners' safety. And from the standpoint of dignity, their advice is insane. If you opt out of the scan, you'll get a pat-down instead. You'll trade a fast, invisible, intangible, privacy-protected machine inspection for an unpleasant, extended grope. In effect, you'll be telling TSA to touch your junk."

Does it get any more OBEY, Fall in Line, Do Not Question Your Leaders! than that? I don't think so.

The Transportation Security Administration says the scanners are safe. Government agencies have a terrible track record with being correct when making such statements.

Right after 911, the EPA said it was A-OK for residents around Ground Zero to head home, for buniesses in the area to open and for life to get back to normal.

All proven, bald-faced, egregious lies. Rescuers who worked at Ground Zero after the attacks are almost all sick. Countless residents have become sick over the years.

Why would the TSA behave any differently?

In some parallel universe, I'm sure it's laudable that Slate urinalists have such faith in their fearless leaders. In this world it's laughable.

Also from Saletan's article: "It's hard to know where to start with this idiocy. The body scanners aren't dangerous. Their safety has been certified by the Food and Drug Administration, the Johns Hopkins University Applied Physics Laboratory, and other scientific reviewers."

Oh, well, if the EPA says so.

Despite what the Slate braintrust believes, society needs its satirists and needs its dissenters.

Eight years of George W. Bush's unchecked madness makes the case for Opt-Out Day and rallies to restore reason and keep fear alive.

These things will make a few Slate urinalists uneasy, but really, those OBEY-conformists wringing their hands and hoping everyone would just be nice and staay home, can all go fuck themselves.