Stuck in the Middle with You

Article: Airport Screeners: Denied radiation badges?

It's the age-old battle -- the Philistines against the Rabble.

Executives who never come within a hundred miles of the front lines of their operations have always made dim-witted decrees that the powerless front line minions have had to carry out.

It's the same anywhere:

Some hydrocephalic suit at the headquarters of Tim Horton's, for instance, decides the best way to compete with Starbucks is to have Tim Horton's employees introduce themselves and get to know customers through the drivethru speaker in order to recreate that "Starbucks ambiance".

It's about as effective as putting a bow tie on Mr. Goodwrench.

And so the oxygen-starved braintrust of the Transportation Security Administration decided that Michael Chertoff's shilling for body imaging machines in early 2010 constituted a step forward in airport security, and thus decreed that air travelers be subjected to nude (albeit, inverted) photography in order to board flights.

The rat-maze of Janet Napolitano's mind didn't conceive that anyone would have a problem with this.

Had she gone through a body imaging machine and ensured the nude photograph of herself was duly deleted? That she came through with her health intact?

No.

But we live in a "Do as a I say, not as I do" world, so the point is moot.

So, for the growing numbers of air travelers who don't feel comfortable having naked (albeit, inverted) scans of themselves taken and merely trusting that those scans are deleted as the TSA states, a method of hands-on persuasion had to be applied to the air traveling public.

Literally.

In the form of "enhanced pat downs."

Or, as my dates in college used to call it -- molestation.

The cries of wrongdoing from the air traveling public are legitimate. Some travelers have undergone brutal treatment -- psychologically, if not physically as well -- at the hands of TSA agents going about the course of their duties.

And the same old "us vs. them" grudge match has materialized -- one powerless group sniping and fist-shaking at another powerless group.

All while the hydrocephalic Ivy Leaguers sit back in executive suites and congratulate themselves on how they're making the world a better place.

So, I wasn't surprised to see on Gawker TSA Agents Hate Touching Your Junk.

But the powers-that-be retain their power by having the Great Unwashed fight among themselves.

Hence, this awkward ode acknowledging that the individual TSA agents aren't the problem. They've gotten as raw a deal as air travelers.

Yeah, it's got to be terrible being a TSA agent these days.

That said, TSA agents, could you institute some sort of program of shunning aimed at the assholes who do enjoy the humiliation and inconvenience heaped upon travelers?

And if you could, particularly, single-out the true scumbags in your midst, such as the "heads up, got a cutie for you" crowd?

On a completely unrelated note: Can you imagine the pat downs happening before passengers get on flights going out of Vatican City?