Thursday, November 04, 2010

"Faith is believing in something nobody in their right mind would believe" -- Archie Bunker

The wheels really came off the cart in Windsor, Ontario this week when it was reported that a Virgin Mary statue standing in front of a private residence was seen to be "weeping."

It didn't take long until the faithful (read: people who require psychiatric attention) showed up en masse to pray, trample a neighbor's lawn and observe the homespun hocus pocus for themselves.

The Windsor Star shed more ink on this non-story than when Queen Elizabeth II or Vincent Price visited the city in years past, devoting three day's worth of front page stories to this bizarre, pathetic display in a bland, subdivision; Garvey Street in the Remington Park neighbourhood of East Windsor.

Today, The Windsor Star actually had a live Webcam feed on its Web site of Weeping Virgin Mary fracas. Little could be seen other than the hunched forms of the frail of mind and body as they filed past the cheap, indifferent statue, which was distinctly not weeping.

Now, the proprietor of the crying Mary is crying foul. She wants the faithful to find their own miracles, locate other shrines. The praying hordes are ruining her neighbors' lawns and the city has given the resident until Nov. 19th to remove Mary from her perch in the front yard.

A net should be thrown over the entire sorry scene, and all the gawking, hand-wringing, dull-eyed parishioners who crawled out of the woodwork studied and monitored in safe, controlled laboratory conditions.

From the midst of this well-timed strangeness (coming on "All Saints' Day") have come a couple of insights:
(1) Canadians can now identify who, exactly, has been voting Stephen Harper and his apostles back into successive minority governments;

(2) The Windsor Star will expend no end of resources on a patent non-story, and has provided its many detractors with real ammunition to use against it.
Helpful pictographs follow this article:

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