Kampbellford Kostume Kontest

When I looked for Kampbellford on Google Maps, I had to expand the view several times in order to see where, exactly, the tiny pimple of a municipality was located in the great province of Ontario.

It was there, though. I found it. Had a Gawd's eye view of the little place.

Like most Canadians, I had never heard of Kampbellford until news of a Hallowe'en party and kostume kontest at their Royal Canadian Legion Hall.

Two men, one dressed as a member of the Ku Klux Klan, the other in black face with a noose around his neck, not only attended the festivities in such tasteless garb, they were actually awarded first prize in the kostume kompetition.

According to a newspaper article on the incident, "Most Legion members are concerned the controversy has erupted during its most important campaign to sell poppies. They worry this will reflect on the Legion and affect sales."

Although I do not think the incident should negatively affect poppy sales -- though, in a town of 3,200, how many do they sell? I imagine that 10 poppies are sold and the townsfolk take turns wearing them.

I do, however, heartily advocate the immediate defunding of all Kampbellford ignorance programs.

Clearly, the citizens of Kampbellford are quite advanced in the field of ignorance and social insensitivity, and I believe the Province's resources could be put to better use funding other regions where ignorance is much less pervasive.

If there is a bright spot in this terrible story, it's that maybe some Kampbellford residents could be put to work spreading their ignorance in other communities.

Also, I think we have found the first target market for "Fox News North."

Late Breaking News

Prime Minister Stephen Harper is making an unexpected visit to Kampbellford to kommend them on their kommunity and how they uphold konservative values.

Konservative MP Luke Stone was to accompany Mr. Harper, but he had a prior kommitment to attend a kross burning.