Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Bosses Rejoice! Your Success is Well-Charted! "Survey: U.S. workers feel less secure"

NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Reading says that nearly 24% think they could lose job in next year, up from 19.3% six months ago: Workers in the United States are far more nervous about losing their jobs than they were six months ago and are now among the least confident employees among the world's leading economies, according to a recent survey..

Bosses everywhere, you sly malignant bastards (whom I affectionately refer to as "grave-robbing necrophilic swine") must be doing something right! Your workers are shitting their pants. No, no, really -- take the bow that is your due. You've been exporting jobs at such a rate and souring the atmospheres of the jobs that remain in North America to such an extent, that workers everywhere are cowering in their cubicles, not wondering if the axe will fall, but when.

If only my pork belly investments and ocean-side Alberta property had grown from 19.3% to almost 24% -- then I could finally tell my own boss to go fuck himself. (Unfortunately, in this case, I am my own boss; but I'd be willing to make this outburst, and willing to take such impudence from myself, though it would make for certain awkwardness around the lunchroom.)

This is what we get with Prime Minister Paul Martin occupying the top latrine in Canada, and corporate jackals of the Bush Administration bleeding off the American economy like a 15th century medical man draining a troublesome patient of his "humors."

Bravo you corporate titans! I don't want to put pressure on you, but wouldn't it be great if we could see that increase double by next year at this time -- and just in time for Xmas!

Remember, the fewer employees you have, the fewer people you have to pay. And the fewer people you have to pay means more money for you! And that's what it's all about. Not just "earning a living," or "getting ahead." The name of the game is "fuck the other guy so hard he'll wish he was never born." And the rules of the game dictate "everything for me! Me! All for me! Not for you! For me!"

I have always believed that corporate executives have it right -- werk is so shitty and demoralizing that it's not worth getting out of bed for anything less than $50 million per year.

4 comments:

Ascendantlive said...

Somehow I don't think the execs find anything demoralizing since most probably have none to begin with.
They send jobs away not only so they can pay fewer people but pay the ones they have less. When fewer jobs are available they think we'll just be ecstatic over shit wages. And sadly it's true, pathetically low pay is better than no pay. Ironically after the holiday feeding frenzy is over it's very possible I could lose the job, especially if I don't con enough people into buying shit they don't need.
Middle class jobs are disappearing. There's no happy medium anymore, you're either starving or paying some one to bring serve you fucking tea.

Whetam Knauckweirst said...

Yeah, one must have morals in order to be "de-moralized." And I agree, corporate execs lack the very substance needed for this to happen.

If only there were a Bastille for us to storm.

I hope you're able to keep your job in the new year.

Ascendantlive said...

hmm...storming a Bastille, Matt you have all sorts of good ideas. We definatly need the Poissonaires to raid the palace with serrated knives. Let's start a revolution(a non-violent one, really) I know a few people who'd jump on board.

Whetam Knauckweirst said...

Maybe all it would take it slaying our TVs in the street, or a horde of us in Hawaiian shirts and Bermuda shorts running through the NYSE shouting "Ivan Boesky is the anti-Christ".

Or carrying signs that read "Down with Pat Sajak."