Latest Conspiracy Theory: Oil Company Profits Are Linked to High Prices - Yeah, Right!

There is absolutely no relationship between high prices of a given product, and the profits enjoyed by the maker of that product. Just as there is no relationship between a bullet being fired through the heart of a human being, and that human dying; and no relationship between fighting unjustifiable foreign wars, and the level of international hatred directed at countries who launch bloody, pre-emptive actions based on lies. These are conspiracy theories of the most damaging stripe and vintage.

Anyone who disagrees with this should shut up and buy a Hummer.

Just as Jesus Christ and God the Father created the universe guided by the mother-of-all-DIYs, Intelligent Design, so too has the Holy Spirit filled our corporate leaders to create an economy based on Intelligent Design.

Trust them. God does.

Gallery of Economic Martyrs

Exxon Mobil Chief Executive Officer Lee Raymond


Chevron CEO David O'Reilly


ConocoPhillips CEO James Mulva


BP America President Ross Pillari


Shell Oil Co. President John Hofmeister