Friday, March 10, 2006

Catch a SPAMMER By the Toe... Dr. Howdy of "Thought & Spam" Fame, You're Going Down

I have caught a live, active SPAMMER and his name is alternately "Dr. Howdy" or "Professor Howdy".

Interested in telling an honest-to-God spammer how you feel about such people and their chosen method of spending their spare time? Contact this puss-filled miscreant at the following: (

This cretin has been in my life for about three or four months now. One day he posted on my blog, the next day came this plague of unwanted email newsletters purporting to be of a "humorous" nature. They're not. They're lamer than the lamest "office humor" that used to cripple fax machines. Since the first rancid missive, I have attempted to get myself off this myopic jerk's emailing list. Today I received the last spam I'm willing to receive from this jackass, Dr. Howdy. As of this evening, Dr. Howdy is going down.
2 of 116 comments on the supposed "unsubscribe" page of the Dr. Howdy Lame-O Web site:

Your unsubscribe information is idiotic and makes absolutely no sense. My 11 year old brother could probably make a more technologically sophisticated blog and newsletter than this one. I have tried repeatedly over the last year to get off this email list. I guarantee that I WILL find a way to report you to some sort of Yahoo internet authority if I recieve anymore of your "i am hilarious and jesus loves you" crap in my inbox. I am way too busy to try to sift through all the howdy garbage I receive in my inbox daily. If I ever come across a college student who knows about and actually enjoys this email, I will be sure to punch them in the face.


Howdy is's the horrendeous amount of terrible spam I've been getting lately that I can trace directly back to Howdy's email /blogs. Shame on YOU!

Dr. Howdy the SPAMMER's reply:

Oh you found me out.
I knew I should have
been content with just
causing the earthquake
in Pakistan as well as
Hurricanes Katrina
& Rita, but just last
month I decided why
not cause one of my
faithful readers since
Apr 2, 2004 to start
receiving lots of SPAM.
Oh, you found me

Actually in reality, I was
offered $1.5 million for
your e-mail address by
a Spammer. So now I'm
rich and you have to live
with SPAM!!!

Now you have discovered
the real reason for 'T & H'
and why I spend 70 hrs./week
for the last 8 years in sending
out this publication to well
over 2 million folks.

Fortunately for everyone
else's sake, I don't plan to
sell their addresses because
now I'm filthy rich...

Very Sorry,
Getting a mental picture of this idiot? His email address is

After a few cutting messages from me today, Dr. Howdy the SPAMMER informed me that someone else was kind enough to sign me up for this daily detritus. Yes, someone signed me up for this crap without my permission. Someone who obviously knows me well and knows how much I relish gum-on-the-shoe Internet humor. And Yahoo! Groups is more than glad to be this SPAMMER's enabler. I guess Yahoo! is too busy turning information over to Chinese authorities for the jailing of journalists to be bothered sending out verification email messages when someone signs up for one of its groups' newsletters. And it's not like Dr. Howdy the SPAMMER is going to request permission because who would give it? No one. The newsletters are the most infantile, thoughtless garbage you can (or can't) imagine. Makes the pizza parlor fliers you get in the mail seem like literature -- at least the pizza fliers have coupons! As for unsubscribing, Dr. Howdy the SPAMMER refers people to his ridiculous, convoluted page, which is quite obviously a joke on anyone seeking to unsubscribe.

So, just for starters, the moment I'm finished with this post I'm going to report Dr. Howdy the SPAMMER to and Yahoo! Groups, that wretched outfit that makes signing people up without their permission for such newsletters possible in the first place.

Let's see what thinks about this scumbag using its free service as an online "base of operations" for finding victims for his SPAM. And let's see if Yahoo! can bother its ass to reply to the multiple complaints I have sent in regarding its very lax and irresponsible monitoring of who signs up for its newsgroups.

I hate spammers.

Update 03/11/2006:

No big surprise, but it seems our nefarious "Dr. Howdy" is a liar as well as a SPAMMER. I have contacted everyone in my email address book and no one claims responsibility for signing me up for "Dr. Howdy's" SPAM. Unlike "Dr. Howdy," I deal with honest, truthful people. I imagine lowly "Dr. Howdy" SPAMMING me and his many other victims on a wireless laptop, holed up in a decrepit toilet stall in a fetid, forgotten MENS room in some abandoned rail or bus station. "Dr. Howdy" doubtless deals only with liars and thieves, addicts, cross dressers, and child molesters. His word is not to be taken.

However, on the off-, off-, off-chance a syllable of truth has entered "Dr. Howdy"'s vocabulary, I have demanded he provide me the email address of the brain damaged person who signed me up for his vomitous newsletter. So far, no reply on this. It's impossible to imagine "Dr. Howdy" objecting on anything approaching ethical grounds. What ethics? This moron is a SPAMMER. And given the high tech production value of his "newsletter", he can no doubt lay his hands on the email address of the ignoramus who signed me up for his drek.


Videos by Professor Howdy said...

Thanks again for writing - please remember that
it is our policy to "UNSUBSCRIBE" all who wish to
be unsubscribed - that's why we made it so EASY
that even UNC students can do it.

P.P.S. Please remember that you can
always read what you have time for
& save the residuum for a stormy/
blustery/dilatory interval while
the charming/exquisite/vernal/
aestival season is bursting out all
over. Our goal is to promote a non-
threatening and productive office
& university environment and to
establish language that is gender-
neutral, ethnic-neutral, and age-
neutral while celebrating our spirit
of diversity.

P.P.S. Undoubtedly America’s fastest growing sensation
online, 'Thought & Humor' has arrived after winding its way
through the Internet’s highways and byways to your e-mail
address. We welcome all our great readers to another unique
blend of the jocular with provocative rumination for your
weekly entertainment - usually platitudinous & bromidic
but never nefarious, prurient, besmeared, or perfidious
and delivered gratis to offices, homes & dorms ubiquitously....

'Thought & Humor' has been read in all 50 States,
70 Countries, 7 Continents, many Island Nations,
Oxford, Cambridge, every Ivy League School
& all major American Universities including UNC!!!

First Published In Last Century - July 26,1997
Thought For The OPEN Mind -
Humor From American Culture

Extra Bonus - For You:

Permission is hereby granted for you to change all
humor used in The"E-Mail Newspaper", 'Thought
& Humor' and its subsidiaries related to the institution
of lower learning hereby known as UNC to another
of your choice from the list below:
1) French university students
2) Harvard or U.C.-Berkeley
3) Any accredited high school or middle school
4) Any Loggerheads & Pundits
5) Any and all persnickety individuals or nincompoops
6) Any Chapel Hill, NC Citizen unless same sends an offspring


Here's what other have said about 'T&H':

Dear Howdy:

That is "the best" unsubscription confirmation that I have ever

I am sorry that the volume of "information" through email makes me
unable to dedicate sufficient time to your thoughts and humor.

May the Lord continue to bless you through this endeavor,

R. M.
Covenant College


I did not wish to be unsubscribed, and tried
to send an e-mail to confirm that I wanted to
continue to receive your side-splitting humour
and healthy faithful advice.

Many thanks for your efforts,

Brian J
Research Fellow
Queen's University
Dept Epidemiology & Public Health
Mulhouse Building
Royal Victoria Hospital


Dear Howdy,

I was very busy in the past two weeks.
I'm very much enjoy your
T&H and I'd like to resubscribe.

I hope it's not too late.

Many Thanks,

Nuanrat. (Thailand)


Dear Howdy,
I enjoy reading your humorous letters. I
look forward to receiving them also in the
future. With wishes for success,
Sol K.
Department of Chemistry
Technion-Israel Institute of Technology
Haifa, Israel


Dear Howdy,

I would like to continue receiving Thought & Humor.
I have not received it in some time.

John F., MD
Assistant professor
Michigan State University
Colleges of Medicine


Hello Howdy,

I have no idea how I first ended up on your mailing list but
I am sure glad you reached me!
I would like to continue receiving your messages, so please
sign me up on the new(?) list.
Keep up the humor and the good work!

Best regards
Karina L.,MD,PhD student
Dept.of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Lund University Hospital
Center for Stem Cell Biology and Cell Therapy, Lund University



Please don't unsubscribe me. I don't know if I can go on if I don't receive
Howdy any longer. I am sure, at bare minimum, I would suffer sever
withdrawl. Thank You. K.M. (Notre Dame U.)


Dearest Howdy,

Please continue to send me "Thought and Humor" - it's just what
I need on those days when laughter is the only medicine!!

Teresa Kimrey
University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, NC


Dearest Howdy,

I DO NOT want to be PHASED OUT of receiving such a delightful
publication. I enjoy both your clever antics and eloquence of language.
The jokes aren't bad either! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE--DO NOT
TAKE ME OFF THE MAILING LIST. Howdy has become a good
friend and break from the stress of college.
Keep up the good work.
MM (Loyno)


Dear Howdy,
We want to inform you that we are interested to obtain Though
and Humor in the case that you can send it us f r e e . We do
not want to be unsubscibed. Send us Though and Humor free
on my e-mail university address:

We can give it in our library for students. Thank you
very much for your kindness. Greetings. Prof. K.


Dear Howdy,

Your newspaper is fun and informative,
but I will unfortunately no longer have
an active e-mail address from the end
of this week- therefore I must unsubscribe,

E Miller (Cambridge University)


Hello Howdy,

I did actually take the time to read your entire e-mail,
which I thought was terribly amusing. I admire your
wordplay and eloquence of language.

Saskia (Oxford U.)


Dear Sir or Ms:
As to your questions, I live in ______, Oregon, USA.
I don't forward your Thought and Humor as I copy them
and place them in a 3-ring notebook. Then I take this
notebook to my camping, gold panning, 8-mile roadside
clean-up campaigns followed by a potluck, 3 days, 2 nights,
geology tours, fishing, boating, etc., along with other stories
and jokes placed in that notebook. Everyone seems to enjoy
reading my notebook. So thank you very much for your stories,
jokes, etc. and for future ones. Why don't you publish a book
full of your stories and Jokes? Shouldn't I get a no-prize book
if and when you do this? Ha, Ha!


Dear Howdy,
One of your subscribers recommended your list on the our-kids
(a forum for families with children with disabilities) listserv. I am
in Island County, WA.


dear sir,
if possible do not unsubscibe your letters from this address.
Looking forward to them.

Hedvika Suchonova
Univerzitni nam.
the Czech republic


Please don't unsubscribe me from your newsletter! I like it a lot. I think
the jokes and brain teasers are great, and i really like the devotion type
things. They really make me think. yep, those pesky hired howdy hunters
must've been at it again... i'd really like to keep getting the newsletter.
Thanks and God Bless!



I would like to receive Howdy's Thought and Humor newsletter at the
email below. Thanks for the opportunity to receive this thought provoking
whimsical newsletter.

Jim M.
Management Research Analyst, Principal
Student Life Assessment Program
Arizona State University
Tempe, AZ


dear howdy
i would like to continue receiving "thought&humor"
please sign me up on the new (if any)list.

(name withheld)


Howdy, your newsletter in probably the best thing I've ever gotten by
email... never quit, the world would be a lesser place without the few who
insist on actually using the wonderful cognitive processes with which the
Creator has blessed us. Your mini-novel was wonderful, and yes we are
responsible for ensuring that as many as possible have a ticket as soon as
possible. GOD Bless you


Indira Maharaj-Mikiel
Program Counselor
Marist College Upward Bound
3399 North Road
Poughkeepsie, NY


Dear Howdy,

Where in the world (besides NC) did this come from???
Who in the world sent it to me?
Where in the world have you been hiding?
Over a million readers??? I don't know how I missed you or you missed me
for so long???
Dr. Robert G. Balnicky

A lot of mind searching without being boring. A lot of Humor---downright
good clean fun.


Your 'Thought and Humor" have been a great help with the students that I
work with and I would think there are several of them that are now
getting your 'Thoughts and Humor'.
Thank you for making my days better and the students that I work with.
Richard Miller
Gov. Docs and Maps
University of Alaska Fairbanks


Dear Howdy,

Please forgive me but I cannot think of any way for you to improve on your
newsletters. They are so creative, fun and thought provoking, I envy you
your dedication and expertise. I guess my biggest problem is I don't want to
lose any of them. Consequently my e-mail filled up so I printed them. I am
running out of filing cabinets to keep them in. I am also saving them on floppies,
only about 2 will fit on each disk. I started that in the spring. So you can
imagine how many disks I have. I have forwarded them to friends and family.
So, to make a long story short, too late, just keep 'em coming and let me know
if there is an archive I can access so I won't have to worry about keeping them all
God Bless You,
"Solid Service"

Your referral based
Golden Rule
Realtor Consultants
For Life


I think you are doing a wonderful job! I am finishing up my 4th year here at
George Mason University in Fairfax VA, and have been reading Howdy for about
a year now. I have no idea how i got on the list but i love it! I will soon
be moving to Australia (to study abroad) for 6 months so i'll be sure to
spread it around down there. Keep up the good work! Josh


Suggestions for improving?! NO WAY! I love T&H and I love forwarding it to
people! On weeks when I'm not too busy, I really enjoy reading as much of
it as possible. And those times when I'm bogged down in work, the lighter
side of T&H is a perfect pick-me-up. You're doing a great work for God's
Commission, Howdy. Thank you!

Duquesne University, Pittsburgh

Whetam Gnauckweirst said...

You are a cretin and a liar. Thank you for providing evidence of yourself as SPAMMER. This posting is proof-positive that that's how you spend your time.

Unsubscribing is easy? False. If it were and if you were as magnanimous about it as you pretend to be here, I would not have had to go to all of this trouble to "out" you as the wretched SPAMMER you are.

If you have so many fans, why badger people like me? I never signed up for your inane newsletter. Leave people like me alone. Harass your so-called "fans."

Stay away from here. You are not welcome on my blog.

Queen of Google said...

What a total jackass. I tried reporting him to yahoo groups but I'm sure it's useless because a quick google uncovers many different groups sending out the spam. Don't ya just want 5 minutes in a room with the guy??? --

don't know if it helps, but just in case...

Children with out voices said...

The same people who wanted prayer out of school and guns in are the ones who complain about Howdy's emails. I guarantee he is the more pleasant of the emails I receive. Funny thing is every computer has a delete button can you imagine that all you have to do is delete.

Rachel C Miller said...

Have you thought of maybe saving the whales or something obviously you people have to much time on your hands. I have received Howdy for over a year now is emails are neither obsessive or unwanted. Have you not heard, "laughter is the best medicine"?

Casey said...

lmao The Crime of the Century aye?

Whetam Gnauckweirst said...

The same people who wanted prayer out of school and guns in are the ones who complain about Howdy's emails

Yeah, that's what society needs: more firearms and spam. Your logic of associating people who are against prayer in schools, oppose firearms and oppose spam email is astonishing -- as is the fact that you can even operate a computer.

I never thought I would hear from the pro-spam contingent. I appreciate you reading my work and thinking enough of it to comment on it, though. Never has this blog received three comments on the same topic on the same day -- and from three coincidentally similar voices and opinions.

If I've done nothing more than turn you on to Dr. Howdy's particular genius, then my work is done.

Unknown said...

Professor Howdy is worth less to this world than a pile of human excrement. He lies and manipulates his was into people's inboxes and proceeds to flood them with garbage; there is simply no other word for what his newsletter is. Tired, used jokes juxtaposed with meaningless metaphorical trash and all in the name of Christianity. If I were a Christian, I would be embarrassed and ashamed of this cretin and what he does in the name of religion. I have tried multiple times to rid myself of this plague, to no avail. What he does in the name of "diversity" is absolutely abhorrent; this is blatant proselytizing, through and through. Ever write about the Jews, Howdy? How about Muslims? Hindus? Do you even know who those people are (they outnumber your religion, lemme tell you that). I encourage the author of this blog to do everything he can to rid the internet of this menace.

Whetam Gnauckweirst said...

After posting this piece and a follow-up, Herr Howdy took me off his mailing list. Anyone who finds his drek funny simply doesn't know what funny is. Howdy is a Christian? I'm not surprised. Herr Howdy's garbage is "Thought & Humor" as Fox News is "Fair & Balanced."

It's shit for people who have nothing but shit between their ears.

Unknown said...

Hi Folks,

Postmaster at checking in with my observations... For over three years now I've recieved user complaints about Dr. Professor Howdy's spam - assaults on our mailboxes.

Our users complain that Dr. Howdy consistantly ignores unsubscribe requests.

Our attempts to block his 'newsletters' have been only partially successful due to his constant changing of of source-mail-server and email address, (just like all other spammers).

Dr. Howdy, please either learn how to operate a respectful *double opt-in* newsletter or get out of the business.

Please scrub from your lists asap all ; & recipient addresses since you are too rude & lazy to confirm that our users actually desire your messages.

Postmaster Steve

Scott said...

I hope this effort continues - every time we turn the light on spammers, they scatter like cockroaches.

I caught one recently too - he's crying like a stuck pig now. Full story:

Keep up the great work.