Saturday, June 10, 2006

Irony Impairment: Conservative Rock Songs? Yeah, Right!

Have you seen this abomination Rockin' the Right: The 50 greatest conservative rock songs? Some conservative guy made an unintentionally comic attempt at cool by writing an article about how some of the best rock 'n' roll songs have conservative interpretations. Here is my response to the author:

Conservative rock songs? How blind and irony-impaired are you? Every decent rock song ever written was written against everything you believe in; everything you are. "Won't Get Fooled Again" mocks you. U2's "Gloria"? You war-mongering conservatives think you have anything in common with Jesus Christ? Just because you cloak your neuroses, vices, insanity, and megalomania with "God" and "Jesus" and "Christ," doesn't mean that's anything but a sad, empty, horrifically inappropriate reference on your part. Yeah, the Beatles wrong "Taxman" for a president who hands tax cuts to the wealthiest citizens during a time of war. And "Revolution" isn't about the exact type of tyranny peddled and perfected by the George W. Bush white house?

I've always known conservatives live with their heads permanently up their asses, but your list of conservative rock songs is one of the most laughable, pathetic attempts at humanizing the horror that is your belief system that I've ever witnessed.

Stick to stealing elections. Leave music to people who have souls.

Here are some suggested lyrics for an actual conservative rock song:
"I did hear of one reference to you, at the Cabinet meeting yesterday. I wasn't there, but I heard someone commented that the press was sure beating up on Mike Brown, to which the president replied, 'I'd rather they beat up on him than me or Chertoff.'"
Now that's rockin' conservativism!

3 comments:

Gazetteer said...

What's next....a compilation of Woody Guthrie's All Time Best Union Bustin' Songs?

Sheesh.

Jackson Scales said...

Matt,

This is truly comical. Though I don't fall easily into either liberal or conservative camps, anyone with any brains or even a smidgeon of honesty knows that conservatives are anything BUT creative people. If anything, creativity is so alien to conservatives as to make them nervous, even fearful. I believe that the source of all human creativity comes from a place in our hearts that is beyond all earthly politics. Nevertheless, if we must assign the label of 'creativity' to the label of 'politics', then liberals win by default every time.

JS

Jackson Scales said...

Matt,

This is truly comical. Though I don't fall easily into either liberal or conservative camps, anyone with any brains or even a smidgeon of honesty knows that conservatives are anything BUT creative people. If anything, creativity is so alien to conservatives as to make them nervous, even fearful. I believe that the source of all human creativity comes from a place in our hearts that is beyond all earthly politics. Nevertheless, if we must assign the label of 'creativity' to the label of 'politics', then liberals win by default every time.

JS