Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Immigration Crisis That May Be Closer Than Canada Thinks

The perfect storm that will usher in America’s disintegration has pretty much arrived:From MSNBC on Generation Y:
They are perhaps the best-educated generation ever, but they can’t find jobs. Many face staggering college loans and have moved back in with their parents. Even worse, their difficulty in getting careers launched could set them back financially for years.
As General Corman said to Captain Willard in Apocalypse Now, “Every man has his breaking point.”

And it's on its way to millions of Americans as I write this.

Where will Americans turn when the blight of Detroit meets the neglect of New Orleans; the two scabbed hands joining in the middle of the country and the Dick Cheneys of the US have turned every last city leprous?

They will flood into Canada: The Land That Can’t Say “No.”

All that's keeping that from happening right now are two things: (a) Americans are so poorly educated, they can't find Canada on a map; (b) Engraved on their brainstems is the credo "America is the greatest nation the world has ever known!"

Otherwise, the people of Wal-Mart would overtake Canada in a heartbeat. They'd lose their shit over our poutine.

President Platitude and his dysfunctional multitude are only putting off the inevitable.

The end is nigh, whether you believe in 2012 or the Rapture, peak oil or that the Federal Reserve cannot continue printing money out of thin air. Eventually Tea Party candidates will be voted into office. America will go through two or three decades of Mad Max and The Post Man as the wheels fall off the apple cart entirely.

While the strong and masochistic remain to rebuild, the other 280 million citizens of the United States will find their way into Canada. And why not? There’s free health care, good education, gay marriage and decriminalized marijuana. There is also better beer, better pizza and a little something we call courtesy. That last may be a shock to the system of the average American, but no more than a bout of Montezuma’s Revenge.

The question is, is Canada ready for this influx?

Although Canada is not ready to address its shortage of doctors or dearth of other educated professionals, we can’t seem to get enough taxi drivers. So long as you’re surly, grudgingly willing to give civilized society a try and don’t carry out honor killings within view of a police station, each new arrival will receive the requisite bar of soap-on-a-rope, bathrobe, pension, free education/job training and accommodation.

New arrivals probably won’t even be forced to live in remote regions.

I will watch developments closely because there is one thing I want out of the coming disaster and mass migration of the American populace:

I want Lou Dobbs as my caddy.

1 comment:

Purple Squirrel said...

If your using Dobbs then I want Bill O'Reilly to carry my clubs! Great piece Whehtam