If you, like Dr. Laura Schlessinger, have the n-word in your heart, don't keep it locked up!
Coming soon to a shopping mall near you is the Dr. Laura N-Word Booth!
Don't be fooled by imitations! Authentic Dr. Laura N-Words Booths are easily identifiable with the naked picture of a young Dr. Laura emblazoned on the door.
First Amendment always guaranteed
As Dr. Laura pointed out on The Larry King Show, Americans' First Amendment rights aren't limited simply to speech, they guarantee all comments -- whatever they are -- not be questioned or criticized.
Otherwise, what good is free speech if someone else can simply disagree with you?
That's never a worry in the Dr. Laura N-Word Booth!
Enter this inviting sound-proof womblike chamber and express the inner workings of your heart free from small, disagreeing minds.
A number of slideshow audiences are available at the click of a button.
In moments you'll have a virtual audience of sympathetic faces to ensure the most important part of your First Amendment rights is not abridged -- the guarantee that people will agree with and love whatever you have to say!
Have the Jews got you down?
Don't worry! This guy sure knows how you feel!
Hey, nobody's perfect, so why not criticize those imperfections in the comfort and style you've come to expect from Dr. Laura.
This world would be a better place if we would simply speak what's in our hearts.
Department of Homeland Security Compliance
In compliance with federal law that dictates all conversations by Americans be recorded, a copy of your N-Word Booth visit will be made. But don't worry! Dr. Laura N-Word Booths are all about your privacy! We will never lend or lease or otherwise share the contents of your N-Word Booth rant!
Next time you're in the mall and you've got the N-word welling in your heart, don't keep it all bottled up! Find the nearest Dr. Laura N-Word Booth and enjoy your freedom!
All guarantees are null and void once Dr. Laura N-Word Booth user leaves the booth. Fee to use booth is $15.95/minute. Local law enforcement will be apprised of the contents of users' monologues, as will the Internal Revenue Service, Federal Bureau of Investigation, along with other unnamed and as yet to be named federal authorities, bodies and agencies.
The foul liberal media has been circulating this unflattering photograph of Dr. Laura since she made news for letting the N-word out of her heart while live on the air. This is not how Dr. Laura's legions of fans know and remember her:
This is how we envision the Princess of the Mic, the Queen of Sass, the greatest God-fearing psychological doctor of psychological disorders to ever don a pair of headphones:
Take that Nancy Pelosi and Ted Kennedy!