Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Seiko's Brainy Wipe -- wipe out mediocrity one square at a time!

For too long, our culture has been a Petri dish of mediocrity. Our digital life has steadily robbed people of IQ points with every press of a gadget's button.

Things have become so dire, 7 out of 10 people don't even read while on the toilet.

Is civilization just going to slide away from under our feet? Not if Seiko can help it!

Introducing Seiko's Brainy Wipe toilet paper dispenser. It's fun for you and your household; a barrel of laughs with your friends; and a sure way to start jamming IQ points back into the skulls of those you love.

It's easy!
  1. Place a roll of toilet paper within Seiko's patent pending ionized alloy dispenser tube.

  2. Set the dispenser's math skill solving level at either Novice, Junior Einstein, Showoff or Genius.

  3. Solve the math problem presented on the quartz crystalline screen and receive a square of toilet paper.
"Hey, what if I can't figure out the answer," a voice asks from the back row.

Then you don't get a square of toilet paper.

"But then . . . I'll be stuck," croaks the back row voice.

Yes, you will be.

So, dust off those brain cells or make Immodium milkshakes a new part of your daily diet.

You don't have the answer, you don't get a square!

There'll never be another stupid shit in your rest room -- guaranteed!

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