Bristol Palin: I Will Have The 'Most Modest Outfits' On 'Dancing With The Stars'When a sex tape of Bristol Palin finally comes out in a year or so, she'll be in the news promising, "It's the most tame sex tape anyone's ever seen. He only came in my face twice."
When Bristol Palin becomes the CEO of a Wall Street bank, it's a sure bet she'll describe her egregious bonuses as, "You could hardly call it a 'bonus.' It was the most modest . . . It was really more a tip, than a bonus."
When she enters rehab for a future drug problem, Bristol Palin will be quoted in the press saying, "My drug use was so modest, it couldn't even be called a 'problem' or even really 'use.' I was around drugs. They somehow got into my body and now I'm here."
When Bristol Palin becomes president of the United States in 2028, she will announce, "Mine will be a very modest presidency -- sort of like my mother's before me. Actually, I won't even really be a president, more of the nation's babysitter and spiritual guide. You won't even notice I'm here."
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