Inside the Hotdog Factory can exclusively report that President Platitude has a strategy for scooping the Tea Party and appearing more American than anyone else in government.
It's been revealed by a reliable source at the White House that during his 2011 State of the Union Address, President Platitude will wear George Washington's dentures.
The dentures of the first president have already been extracted from the Smithsonian Institute and modified by a team of constitutional dentists to fit the current president's mouth.
The president has been practicing with a number of voice and elocution coaches to speak around the cumbersome 247 year old dentures.
Inside the Hotdog Factory's inside source says, "The president is practicing with great intensity to speak with these historic, most American teeth in his mouth.
"At present, the president is only barely intelligible when using the dentures, sounding as though he is from Tennessee.
"We don't view that as a bad thing."