You will know them by the bankers they defend

The American plutocracy/oligarchy has no shortage of brave defenders. Not the least of which is Marybeth Hicks who gives a conservative-eye view on the Occupy Wall Street protests.

The team at Inside the Hotdog Factory felt a response was in order:

Dear Marybeth:

It takes such moral courage to defend the bullies, oligarchs and the Wall Street bosses who tanked our economy and walked away with multi-million dollar bonuses so they didn't experience any interruption in their lifestyles.

Good for you! And glad you're so well up to the job!

I guess such myopia explains why you go after only the easiest, most glaring targets of the Occupy Wall Street protesters.

For the purposes of this note, I'll give you all the piercings, tattoos and dreadlocks. Have it your way -- they're not American citizens because of how they dress and wear their hair.

Now, about the rest of the protesters.

They are protesting a system that is skewed, rigged and corrupt, which rewards greed over hard work, which pampers and caters to only the wealthy at the very tangible expense of the vast majority of the population.

I know, I know, it's what Ronald Reagan wanted for America, but it's an embarrassing, unjust, unworkable system.

There are millions of people who have jobs, pay their bills and hold to your high standards of hygiene and personal appearance, who have lost their retirement funds, have lost their homes to illegal "robo signing" of big banks, whose wages have stagnated, for whose children that enviable college education has become more and more out of reach (what with heroes like Eric Cantor quashing Pell grants and schools' tuition rising like the country's blood pressure).

There are millions of people, as well, who hold to your high standards of hygiene and personal appearance who have lost their jobs. You see, when you have an economy that's based on consumption and then systematically send once decent-paying jobs overseas, it's creates a problem.

I know, I know, that's the conservative way! Have an economy based upon consumer spending and then send the jobs to Korea and China and India. Pray your way through it! I get it.

One problem: that doesn't work.

You write that "Only 4 percent of college graduates are out of work." Right. They're working at the Gap, McDonald's, driving taxis, pouring coffee at Dunkin Donuts, working part-time.

I know, I know! That's what conservatives want for America -- a society where few (if any) jobs meet the educational level of workers. America's made its stance on education and the importance of education in American life abundantly clear. It shows in the test scores. It shows in America's ranking in the world on educational indices.

The Dick Cheneys of the world love this economy. Where else would you have PhDs waiting tables? Where else would you have people offering to work for free? Conservatives love that idea! Rush Limbaugh will be glad to tell you how wonderful slavery was for the United States. And it's not dead. In Indiana, for instance, there are waitresses who work for free, subsisting only on the tips they receive. Now that's a conservative economic model for the country!

With no Russia to compete with, showing off that America has the better standard of living, conservatives are happy to let the standard of living slide right off the table.

Because, you're right, America is just a Club Med for the wealthy and everyone else can just dry up and stop complaining.

Bravo Marybeth! You're among notable company: among those who defend the rich against the poor; defend the powerful against the powerless; who defends the haves against the troublesome have-nots.

Hopefully there's a PNAC lapel pin on the way to you in the mail for you efforts.

One last thing: I hope you're not a Christian. You'd be horrified to see who Christians worship -- a long-haired, sandal-wearing socialist who heals people at no charge, who gives away food, someone who forgives sins (!!!), someone who doesn't judge. He's a guy who once said about paying taxes: "Give unto Caesar what is due Caesar." (Rick Perry should challenge this douche to a duel!) And Jesus once told a business man "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (I can just see the heroes of Wall Street rolling up their sleeves and lining up to give this Communist the ass-kicking he deserves!)

Is that Jesus Christ creep trouble, or is he trouble?

And Jesus' hygiene? Other than his baptism, I don't think it mentions any other time in the New Testament that he bathed. Clearly someone who belonged in jail... Oh wait, he was arrested. Ah, and thumbing ahead to the end of the story, good news! He was executed! Conservatives rejoice! Jesus Christ was executed. Another messy, troublesome hippie put down.