President Trump's Cabinet

Sources close to Team Trump are reporting that aides have discussed tapping Sarah Palin for Interior Secretary.

"Governor Palin has experience with firearms and has slaughtered small animals with her bare hands," says Team Trump head, Karl Kralweiler.  "She was the one who spotted Vladimir Putin off the coast of Alaska.  Until then, we didn't know he was there."

More shocking than Sarah Palin's name being thrown into Team Trump's bingo ball cage, is the name Bristol Palin, who is being considered for the position Surgeon General.

Responding to surprise at this leak, Kralweiler said, "Sure, Bristol has been recognized across the country for her good looks and chastity campaign.  Sure, she's had her second child out of wedlock, but it's not like she's going to perform actual surgeries!  Among other duties, she will map out the parts of a woman's anatomy that Congress can work on outlawing, once and for all."

Other tantalizing leaks have hinted at Newt Gingrich being tapped as Secretary of State.  "And we know where we can get a good deal on a private email server," says Kralweiler.

There is talk of Rudy Giuliani being nominated to the Supreme Court, and an entirely new Cabinet position is being considered for broadcaster and entertainer -- working title is "Bitch in Chief".

First Three Initiatives of President-Elect Donald Trump Presidency

After his stunning defeat of Hillary Clinton, President-Elect Donald Trump's Transition Team is losing no time in distributing Non-Disclosure Agreements to every person living in the United States.  Beginning November 22nd -- coinciding with the 53rd anniversary of the assassination of President John F. Kennedy -- waves of mailers will flood the country.  Every recipient will be  legally obligated to sign -- based on future legislation.

"We want to get this house-keeping item out of the way, early," says Karl Kralweiler, head of the Team Trump, the President-Elect's transition team.  "We want this wrapped up by Inauguration Day. That's when we begin rounding up every voter who didn't for the Fuhrer... I mean, President Trump."

Once the recalcitrant voters are out of the way, Team Trump will turn its attention to members of the media who did not support their leader's campaign.  "It'll be time to pay the piper," says Kralweiler. "We don't plan on hurting anyone.  We just want to re-educate them.  This will take place in camps.  What could be a more friendly setting for re-education than at a camp?"

Once every dissenter -- down to the grandmothers who published disapproving paragraphs in church bulletins -- the Team Trump will roll-out an extensive infrastructure program.

"We're going to rebuild the entire country," President Elect Donald Trump says, stepping out of a nearby lavatory, to the chorus of a flushing toilet.  "It's going to be the most terrific infrastructure this country has ever seen.  The best.  Nothing ever like before anywhere in the world... maybe even in the universe."

When asked, "How do you plan to pay for the program?" Trump placed his hands on his hips and smiled.

"We're going to hire every small-time contractor in the country -- tens of thousands of people," he said.  "We're going to put them all to work.  And when it comes time to pay them... Well, we'll just have to re-open negotiations with them, that's all.  It'll be great.  We'll have tremendous infrastructure.  The best..."