Thursday, October 27, 2011

Technology helps broadcaster "take it to the next level"

If you've ever listened to National Public Radio's show All Things Considered, you've heard the flutey, glassine voice of presenter, Michele Norris.

And if you've heard the voice of presenter, Michele Norris, you know that nobody loves the voice of Michele Norris more than Michele Norris.

She speaks like she's playing an oboe in her larynx; an oboe made of flesh; an oboe that would make you want to turn away if you ever saw such a one.

Well, Michele Norris announced yesterday that she's "taking a break" from All Things Considered.

She cited her husband taking a high-powered job with the White House as the reason, but Inside the Hotdog Factory has the inside scoop:

Technology has now made it possible for Michele Norris to actually make love to her voice, so she's going on hiatus to do just that.

First, she plans a whirlwind shopping trip to New York with her voice. Then she'll be off on a romantic getaway to the Caribbean with her voice, where she will woo it by candlelight and wow it by daylight upon the beach. Then Norris plans an extended tour of Europe and then India with her voice, no doubt indulging in some Old World VVO (voice-to-vagina orgies) along the way.

It has not been revealed just what physical form Norris' voice has taken at the behest of this new technology, beyond what we can guess: a crude, phallus-like object.

Michele Norris has refused numerous requests to speak on the matter, leaving us to ponder what romantic flights and flourishes she and her voice will engage in now that she's leaving All Things Considered.

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