Friday, December 23, 2011

Canada could pay into IMF Europe fund, Flaherty says

Finance Minister Jim Flaherty says Ottawa would be open to paying into a bailout fund for Europe administered by the International Monetary Fund — as long as it was supported by the other G20 countries.

"There's some sense around the world that if at the end of the day we have to provide some help somehow, that we would not turn a blind eye to it because of the world consequences of the collapse of the eurozone," Flaherty said Thursday on CBC-TV's Power & Politics with Evan Solomon.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Conservative Party of Canada has one of many problems -- it hates Canadian sovereignty

To my MP:

From The Star: "OTTAWA—Armed U.S. police officers will for the first time be allowed to operate in Canada along with the RCMP as part of far-reaching changes in Canadian-American border operations to be unveiled next week by Prime Minister Stephen Harper and President Barack Obama."

I'll never understand the Conservatives' hatred of Canadian sovereignty. I just don't get it. You fight and claw and lie ("The long form census form invades Canadians' privacy," cry the Conservatives, yet you want to spy on Canadians on the Internet -- hypocrites!) and pander your way into power only to fritter away the legitimacy of the very country you now lead. Even pirates know enough to tend the boats they commandeer.

And please -- please! -- don't give me any of this baloney about "terrorism" because any reasonably informed citizen knows that American foreign policy and all its underhanded, duplicitous and corrupt machinations is responsible for most of the current hatred of the US around the world. When you have unmanned American drones killing droves of innocent citizens and ally soldiers in far flung countries, that tends to sour people. When you have invasions of sovereign nations -- Iraq, for instance -- against the will of the UN, against all evidence that the country is a threat to the US, that hurts American credibility and reveals America's true, imperialist ambitions.

How long before unmanned drones are flying over Canadian soil? Really.

If we want a safer world, we need America to disengage from its wars of imperialism, bring all its troops home and work on its own domestic problems. Jeez, I miss the halcyon days of the basic "ugly American" who was merely rude and arrogant. This new "ugly America" that murders indiscriminately is an unacceptable strategic partner. I know, we're stuck with them as neighbors, and it's best to work with them, but to allow American law enforcement this unacceptable encroachment on Canadian sovereignty is a blasphemy to our country.

If the Conservatives are so damned sincere about their "law and order" stance, why haven't you had Dick Cheney or George W. Bush arrested upon entry to our country? Each them meets the criteria of "war criminal"; each has admitted to war crimes in their respective memoirs. We've departed numerous other war criminals from Canada since the summertime; a move I applaud. No, the Conservatives are all bluster on the "law and order" front, restricting yourselves to hunting down pot smoking slackers. Yeah, that'll keep Canada safe.

The Conservatives are selling out my country, piecemeal. Allowing this encroachment by American law enforcement weakens our sovereignty and insults every Canadian.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The long, dark con

After seeing the above picture posted on, I wrote to the good people at who erected the billboard:

It's a historical fact that more people have been murdered in the name of Christianity than any other religion in the history of mankind.

If a person needs the fear of hell to keep them from murdering, stealing or otherwise breaking the law, then that person is deficient and flawed on a most fundamental level. The rest of rational society doesn't commit murder or thievery, or other crimes, because we simply know that it's wrong to do so.

The Christian bible is filled with genocide, rape, murder, adultery, bestiality, insanity and megalomania. It's the last text I would use to guide my life.

Even Christians, today, can't manage it, what with their seamless hatred of the poor, their "holier than thou" attitude toward pornography, hatred of gays, minorities, and their ubiquitous prejudice against anyone who is not of their denomination. That, I think, is the crowning turd of Christianity -- the unending infighting among its various sects. All proclaim to love Jesus Christ and serve God, and yet resent, hate and cluck their tongues at anyone who is not of their particular sliver of faith. How Catholics glower at Protestants, and how each Protestant cult sneers at the other. All the while, carrying out heinous acts in the name of Jesus -- whether it's killing abortion doctors, picketing soldiers' funerals, or sending the country's troops into foreign countries on "crusades" in the name of oil.

Or, better yet, those execrable televangelists: a shower of pimps, making money off the crucifixion of Jesus Christ like a Times Square hustler and his hookers.

And now Christians are placing billboards around the country attacking atheists who don't believe in fictional, invisible deities who speak to people in self-contradicting books.

Atheists are to be feared?

Tell that the people of Afghanistan. Tell that to the 1.4 million-plus people dead in Iraq. Tell that to the peasants of Honduras, who've been murdered in droves by monsters schooled by the good Christians at the School for the Americas.

I'll tell you, people don't call Christianity "the long, dark con" for nothing. To paraphrase the late comedian, George Carlin: Christians believe in an invisible man in the sky who sees and hears everything, but gives no indication of his presence, who watches and judges us, and if we displease him, he'll damn us to hell to suffer for eternity . . . but he loves us.

What utter, unmitigated, unadulterated bullshit.

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

Harper Government to spend $60 billion on new fighter jets for Canada

To a Member of Parliament who tends to respond to all communiques with a combination of Hallmark Cards and the Ministry of Truth:

Quick word game. Which word doesn't belong in the list:
Sound Research
Jet Fighters
I know you squiggled your mouse arrow over "Responsibility", but the correct answer is "Jet Fighters."

I understand the Harper Government Brain Trust seeks to spend $60 billion on jet fighters for Canada, while cutting $200 million from funding for research and monitoring of the environment. I'll bet those Tar Sands people sure find those environmental studies tiresome, and I'll bet those Tar Sands people are very generous contributors to anyone who can make tiresome obstacles in their path to the bank go away.

Now, I understand that the current fleet of Canadian fighter jets have seen a lot of action over the decades, what with the attempted Libyan invasion of 1972, the Lichenstein air power grab of 1974 over Labrador, Russia's famous and brazen sneak attack of 1977. And who could forget Cuba's numerous attempts to attack Canada by air: in 1981, '83, '87, '92, '93, '94, '97 and '99. Of course, this is not to forget the 1967 attempt by Greenland to overtake Canada with its fleet of walrus skin zeppelins, thinking we'd be too busy making merry over our Centennial to notice. Oh, but we noticed. And handed their Greenlandic asses to them -- via our superiority in the air, of course.

All these acts of aggression are ingrained in the Canadian psyche. Aside from worrying just how badly the Maple Leafs will do in a given year, Canadians are obsessed and terrified to think from where the next act of air aggression will come.

Thank goodness we've got the Harper Government -- always thinking, always working the angles -- to rescue Canadians from their anxiety, having the heart and fortitude to spend $60 billion of our tax dollars on a gleaming new fleet of fighter jets. Not even President-elect Michelle Bachmann would dream of attacking Canada knowing those lethal gems sit at the ready on our soil.

Thing is, I may have my history a little wrong. I might have remembered one or two too many attempted invasions from the past. I did forget to mention the FLA Crisis of 1970 and vital role Canadian fighter jets played in suppression that attempted coup d'etat.

I might have my history a little wrong, but I've got my present sufficiently sorted out to know that the Harper Government is subverting nearly every Canadian virtue in its relentless campaign to make Canada "America North." Whether it's bringing a Prison Industrial Complex to Canada and forcing these ridiculous, proven-to-be-ineffective mandatory minimums to courtrooms around the country, to handing over border security to the Americans (US Attorney General Eric Holder was recently lavish in his thanks for that), to the splintering and hobbling StatsCan and now defunding our research and monitoring of the environment.

(Right -- you insult and slap-down StatsCan saying its long form census questionnaire invades Canadians' privacy, and yet in your Bill C51, you want to monitor Canadians' every move on the Internet. Conservatives thy name is Hypocrite!)

What I don't understand is if Conservatives hate Canada so much, why in the world do you remain. There are tons of little breakaway republics around the world; little theocracies still living in the 12th century, where I thnk you'd be very happy.

The only consolation to the abomination of your governing is that you're quickly reminding Canadians why voting Conservative is just not an option; why your flavor of conservatism should go the way of Brian Mulroney's PC party.

Harsh words in court have legal experts pondering how accused survived

Canadian legal experts and court-watchers are in a state of shock and nauseated disbelief after a Windsor judge unleashed a seismic tongue-lashing on Ahmed Ahmed -- not to be confused with the other Ahmed Ahmed -- an offender who'd been caught by police with 3.9 grams of crack inside anus.

First, Judge Rawlins sentenced Ahmed to a staggering 30 days house arrest.

Next, Judge Rawlins compounded that devastating sentence with two years (24 months!) probation.

If this judicial one-two punch didn't already have Ahmed reeling, surely Judge Rawlins' coup de grace all but psychologically destroyed him:

The judge decreed that Ahmed is banned from entering Essex county for the duration of his probation.

Women fainted. Infants had to be rushed from the courtroom. Crown and defense attorneys brought their hands to their mouths as though ready to be sick. The bailiff -- suddenly pale and unsteady on his feet -- had to be escorted from the courtroom by his understudy.

This statement had other members of the court gallery reflexively reaching for the portable defibrillation device mounted on the wall. Others instinctively broke the glass on the wall mounts housing a fire hose and emergency axe. Anything to defend the defendant from this verbal onslaught, such a tide of venomous rhetoric that it was!

But Judge Rawlins was not finished with the spiritually diminished, quivering shell of a drug mule. She tersely added:

"What I want you to do is keep your drugs in Toronto. . . Detroit makes Toronto look like Toronto the Good . . . We don’t need to import people from other jurisdictions to bring drugs to Windsor. We have plenty coming across the border. Drugs, guns, we have it up to here."

"It was . . . too much," said Samuel Grimfall, a court blogger and advocate for criminals' rights. "Who could endure such a verbal assault? I believe Mr. Ahmed has a very clear-cut case for the Ontario Human Rights Tribunal. I'll testify as his first witness."

"I think Judge Rawlins should be arrested and charged with crimes against humanity," said a visibly shaken Sheila Goodnightbridge, former Liberal MP candidate. "She should be hauled off to the Hague and given a tongue-lashing of her own! See how she likes it!"

Still other court-watchers wondered how Ahmed physically endured such a verbal barrage.

Canadian judges, known far and wide for holding the very fabric of civilization together with their supple, pink hands -- so great is their power -- have a reputation for verbal ruthlessness when it comes to reprimanding drug dealers, rapists, murders and child abusers. Words like "disappointed" "riff raff" and "unconscionable" are used with startling frequency.

The question is: how does a mere mortal -- a human being not averse to tucking 3.9 grams of crack cocaine up his second major orifice -- survive a verbal vivisection from one of Canada's judicial titans?

That question will be debated for decades to come.

The only consolation in this monstrous display of power came from Ahmed's defense attorney, Neil Rooke, who said of his client's acceptance of this stiff sentence: "He was content with that. [The ban from Essex County for 24 months] was not an issue for him."

Well, thank Gawd for that! The drug mule arrested with 3.9 grams of crack cocaine in his anus was content with the conditions of his sentence.

Could you imagine if a convicted drug offender wasn't content with the conditions of his sentence?

Could you imagine what message that would send to the criminal community?

Southwestern Ontario might earn a bad reputation among the province's underworld.

But crisis was averted -- Ahmed was content. That's all that matters.

Unfortunately, Judge Rawlins remains on the bench, ready to perform another verbal courtroom autopsy on another unsuspecting suspect.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Technology helps broadcaster "take it to the next level"

If you've ever listened to National Public Radio's show All Things Considered, you've heard the flutey, glassine voice of presenter, Michele Norris.

And if you've heard the voice of presenter, Michele Norris, you know that nobody loves the voice of Michele Norris more than Michele Norris.

She speaks like she's playing an oboe in her larynx; an oboe made of flesh; an oboe that would make you want to turn away if you ever saw such a one.

Well, Michele Norris announced yesterday that she's "taking a break" from All Things Considered.

She cited her husband taking a high-powered job with the White House as the reason, but Inside the Hotdog Factory has the inside scoop:

Technology has now made it possible for Michele Norris to actually make love to her voice, so she's going on hiatus to do just that.

First, she plans a whirlwind shopping trip to New York with her voice. Then she'll be off on a romantic getaway to the Caribbean with her voice, where she will woo it by candlelight and wow it by daylight upon the beach. Then Norris plans an extended tour of Europe and then India with her voice, no doubt indulging in some Old World VVO (voice-to-vagina orgies) along the way.

It has not been revealed just what physical form Norris' voice has taken at the behest of this new technology, beyond what we can guess: a crude, phallus-like object.

Michele Norris has refused numerous requests to speak on the matter, leaving us to ponder what romantic flights and flourishes she and her voice will engage in now that she's leaving All Things Considered.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

You will know them by the bankers they defend

The American plutocracy/oligarchy has no shortage of brave defenders. Not the least of which is Marybeth Hicks who gives a conservative-eye view on the Occupy Wall Street protests.

The team at Inside the Hotdog Factory felt a response was in order:

Dear Marybeth:

It takes such moral courage to defend the bullies, oligarchs and the Wall Street bosses who tanked our economy and walked away with multi-million dollar bonuses so they didn't experience any interruption in their lifestyles.

Good for you! And glad you're so well up to the job!

I guess such myopia explains why you go after only the easiest, most glaring targets of the Occupy Wall Street protesters.

For the purposes of this note, I'll give you all the piercings, tattoos and dreadlocks. Have it your way -- they're not American citizens because of how they dress and wear their hair.

Now, about the rest of the protesters.

They are protesting a system that is skewed, rigged and corrupt, which rewards greed over hard work, which pampers and caters to only the wealthy at the very tangible expense of the vast majority of the population.

I know, I know, it's what Ronald Reagan wanted for America, but it's an embarrassing, unjust, unworkable system.

There are millions of people who have jobs, pay their bills and hold to your high standards of hygiene and personal appearance, who have lost their retirement funds, have lost their homes to illegal "robo signing" of big banks, whose wages have stagnated, for whose children that enviable college education has become more and more out of reach (what with heroes like Eric Cantor quashing Pell grants and schools' tuition rising like the country's blood pressure).

There are millions of people, as well, who hold to your high standards of hygiene and personal appearance who have lost their jobs. You see, when you have an economy that's based on consumption and then systematically send once decent-paying jobs overseas, it's creates a problem.

I know, I know, that's the conservative way! Have an economy based upon consumer spending and then send the jobs to Korea and China and India. Pray your way through it! I get it.

One problem: that doesn't work.

You write that "Only 4 percent of college graduates are out of work." Right. They're working at the Gap, McDonald's, driving taxis, pouring coffee at Dunkin Donuts, working part-time.

I know, I know! That's what conservatives want for America -- a society where few (if any) jobs meet the educational level of workers. America's made its stance on education and the importance of education in American life abundantly clear. It shows in the test scores. It shows in America's ranking in the world on educational indices.

The Dick Cheneys of the world love this economy. Where else would you have PhDs waiting tables? Where else would you have people offering to work for free? Conservatives love that idea! Rush Limbaugh will be glad to tell you how wonderful slavery was for the United States. And it's not dead. In Indiana, for instance, there are waitresses who work for free, subsisting only on the tips they receive. Now that's a conservative economic model for the country!

With no Russia to compete with, showing off that America has the better standard of living, conservatives are happy to let the standard of living slide right off the table.

Because, you're right, America is just a Club Med for the wealthy and everyone else can just dry up and stop complaining.

Bravo Marybeth! You're among notable company: among those who defend the rich against the poor; defend the powerful against the powerless; who defends the haves against the troublesome have-nots.

Hopefully there's a PNAC lapel pin on the way to you in the mail for you efforts.

One last thing: I hope you're not a Christian. You'd be horrified to see who Christians worship -- a long-haired, sandal-wearing socialist who heals people at no charge, who gives away food, someone who forgives sins (!!!), someone who doesn't judge. He's a guy who once said about paying taxes: "Give unto Caesar what is due Caesar." (Rick Perry should challenge this douche to a duel!) And Jesus once told a business man "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God." (I can just see the heroes of Wall Street rolling up their sleeves and lining up to give this Communist the ass-kicking he deserves!)

Is that Jesus Christ creep trouble, or is he trouble?

And Jesus' hygiene? Other than his baptism, I don't think it mentions any other time in the New Testament that he bathed. Clearly someone who belonged in jail... Oh wait, he was arrested. Ah, and thumbing ahead to the end of the story, good news! He was executed! Conservatives rejoice! Jesus Christ was executed. Another messy, troublesome hippie put down.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

IndyCar CEO made changes to rules to increase "carnage and wrecks"

Sure, he's backpedaling now. They always do.

The 3rd Quarter Dick Cheney Award for Corporate Malevolence goes to Randy Bernard, CEO of Indy Car -- which suffered a catastrophic crash this weekend, causing the death of driver Dan Wheldon.

In June of this year, Mr. Bernard was quoted in an interview as saying that his "change to restarts would mean more 'carnage and wrecks,' adding that 'danger will be an important element of the sport.'"

Well, Mr. Bernard, you've now got your carnage.

Of course, Mr. Bernard is the picture of contrition today.

On Monday, when confronted with this heartless quote from June, he replied "I'm sorry if my comments are interpreted this way . . . Danger has been an inherent part of the sport since 1909. I don't know if what I said was taken out of context or I misspoke, but if you know me, you know where my loyalties lie, and I'm very respectful to the drivers and the sport."


If that quote does not display Mr. Bernard at his most heartless, his follow up remarks on Monday about it proves him to be utterly without conscience: "I'm sorry if my comments are interpreted this way."

Interpreted this way?


That remark was pretty black-and-white. Pretty unambiguous.

I'm sure Mr. Bernard's minions must bear with his moral and intellectual relativism, but the general public does not.

I, for one, did not interpret Mr. Bernard's promise that there would be more carnage and wrecks in this Indy Car season. I read those remarks as he said them. In English. Unexpurgated. With no lawyer or public relations spin doctor at my side.

Mr. Bernard continued in his Monday contrition: "Danger has been an inherent part of the sport since 1909."

Yeah, danger has been an inherent part of the sport.

My charge and contention is that Mr. Bernard heightened that danger; accentuated that danger by packing more cars into each competition and having racers using side-by-side restarts.

Like the owners of the Deep Water Horizon oil platform or the Upper Big Branch mine in West Virginia, Mr. Bernard is yet another dreary, greedy CEO who is completely willing to put the lives of his underlings at risk to produce more profits.

There is no misinterpretation.


Manifest Density

You can't pass off a plutocracy as a democracy.

You can't trumpet the virtues of freedom and democracy abroad and vilify protesters at home.

You can't call yourself just while embracing injustice.

And you can't brag about having a free society when you don't.

You just can't.

* * *

After losing his job, 34 year old Mervin Mayfair moved back to his hometown and lived in a room above his parents' garage.

While away, he had heard through friends that the city and his old neighborhood had deteriorated over the years. Things were tough all over and Mervin remembered watching the city and neighborhood go through changes as he grew up.

One afternoon, he went to Anderson's Corner Store to buy a newspaper. Mervin wanted to look at the Want ads and get back to earning some money.

When he entered Anderson's Corner Store, he wondered if he'd walked into the wrong place. Gone were the coolers once filled with energy drinks. Gone were the racks of chips and snacks and chocolate bars and magazines and hamburger and hotdog buns. Gone were the cigarettes and lottery tickets and the canister of beef jerky on the counter.

Instead, there were a couple of sofas, love seats and armchairs, each occupied by women in their early twenties, all wearing halter tops and short-shorts.

A man with a pencil mustachio approached Mervin. The man grinned. "You came at a good time of day, friend," the man said. "You've got your pick of the litter."

"Litter?" Mervin said. "This is Anderson's Corner Store, right?"

"It certainly is," the man said.

"I'm here to buy a newspaper."

The man laughed. "We don't sell any newspapers, friend." He gestured to a red-haired woman lounging on a chaise nearby. "But Holly here will give you a blowjob for ten bucks."

Mervin left without a newspaper or a blowjob. His friends weren't kidding when they said the neighborhood was going to shit.

He walked down Main Street to Dawson's Gas Bar. There were no longer any pumps out front, but Mervin wondered if they still had newspapers and chewing gum and energy drinks inside.

When he entered, Mervin found the gas bar store had been cleared. The far side wall was filled with TV monitors tuned to horse racing, baseball, hydro plane racing, auto racing, boxing, mixed martial arts. There was a group of people sitting before the monitors cheering the sporting events.

Off to the side was a wicket surrounded by wire mesh. Inside the wicket sat an old woman.

"Is this Dawson's Gas Bar?" Mervin asked.

"Sure is," the old woman croaked in a smoker's voice.

"You don't sell gas anymore?"

"Nah, no gas."

"You don't sell chewing gum anymore?"

"No, none of that."

"You don't sell newspapers anymore?"

"No -- say, if you're looking for all that kind of stuff, why don't you try Anderson's Corner Store up the road?"

"I did, but it's not a corner store anymore, it's a whorehouse."

"You wanna place a bet?" the old woman asked.

Mervin shook his head and left.

As he walked along Main Street, he came upon Edmond's Furniture Store. Mervin did a double-take when he looked through the front windows: there was no furniture in the store, though it appeared to sell newspapers.

Mervin went in and found the day's newspaper. He looked around and saw rows of potato chips and snacks, chewing gum, energy drinks and beef jerky.

Mervin went to the counter to pay for the newspaper. Old Mr. Edmond was working the cash register. Mervin remembered him from years before when he, Mervin, played on a little league baseball team sponsored by Mr. Edmond.

"Mr. Edmond, how're you doing?" Mervin said.

Mr. Edmond didn't seem to recognize him. "Doing all right, thanks. Do I know you?"

"I used to play for the Edmond Furniture little league team," Mervin said.

"Oh, right, you've got a good memory."

"You don't sell furniture anymore?"

"Nah, nobody can afford it."

"How did you get into selling newspapers and chips and energy drinks?"

"Well, when Anderson's Corner Store turned into a whorehouse and Dawson's Gas Bar got into sports betting, it seemed like a natural opening in the marketplace."

"But if Anderson's Corner Store is a whorehouse, why isn't it called a whorehouse or something other than Anderson's Corner Store? Because it's not Anderson's Corner Store anymore."

"Interesting question."

"And if Dawson's doesn't sell gas anymore, and all you can do is bet on sports there, why is it still called 'Dawson's Gas Bar'?"

"Well, 'Gas Bar' sounds better than 'sports betting', doesn't it?"

"But it's not accurate."

"You said you played on the Edmond Furniture little league team?"

"Yeah, when I was about eleven."

"It's my lunch hour," Mr. Edmond said. "What do you say we go over to the Victory Luxury Lounge?"

"Sure, I could use some lunch."

Mervin and Mr. Edmond went down the sidewalk to the Victory Luxury Lounge. Mervin recalled that it as one of the fanciest restaurants in town, where many famous entertainers had performed over the years.

When they entered, Mervin was astonished to see the place was a complete dump: mismatched chairs at tables, the velour booths were bald and ripped, the leather booths all cracked and split. The placed smelled of urinal pucks and BO. It was a large place, which seemed even larger since the old expansive bar had been removed.

Behind a partition dividing the old seating area, there was a group of men cheering and betting on a cock fight.

"I thought you said we were going to get some lunch," Mervin said.

"No, I said that it's my lunch hour," Mr. Edmond said. "I always bet on the cock fights on my lunch hour."

After leaving the Victory Luxury Lounge, Mervin met the town's mayor out walking his dog. There was little grass for the dog to walk on and relieve himself. As the dog pooped on the pavement, Mervin said hello to the mayor.

"Say, your honor," Mervin said. "No disrespect intended, but why wouldn't you take your dog to the dog park?"

"That's used as a junk yard now," the mayor said. "It's not safe to walk the dogs amid all the jagged bits of metal from all the smashed and destroyed cars."

"Why is it still called 'The Dog Park', then, and not 'The Junk Yard'?"

"Because 'Dog Park" sounds so much better."

"I've noticed the same thing with businesses along Main Street," Mervin said. "Anderson's Corner Store is now a whorehouse. Dawson's Gas Bar is a betting hall. And the Victory Luxury Lounge is used for cock fighting. It's confusing when you don't call a thing what it is. Why doesn't anyone call these things what they are?"

"Because our town would look like it's turned into a pile of shit," the mayor said. His dog had finished pooping on the sidewalk, so the mayor gave Mervin a nod and continued along his way.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

America, you're not alone! Some Canadians think waterboarding's cool, too!

A letter to the editor of The Windsor Star, Sept. 29:
Ex-U.S. leaders should face justice
It's time for the Harper government to prove that its stance on "law and order" pertains to more than just pot smokers.

The government of Stephen Harper must commit to arresting and prosecuting former U.S. president, George W. Bush, former vice-president, Dick Cheney, former secretary of defense, Donald Rumsfeld on the charge of war crimes should they ever enter Canada.

Based on what evidence?

Aside from copious first-hand accounts from victims, memos signed by Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, each man has admitted to war crimes in their respective memoirs.

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld admit - and, in fact, state they are proud - that they authorized the use of torture during their so-called "war on terror."

More than that, they admit to specifically authorizing the use of such torture techniques as "waterboarding" to be used on detainees.

I believe the Conservatives' tough talk about law and order is merely campaign trail rhetoric; a way to steer taxpayer dollars to cronies to build prisons.

I challenge the Harper government to prove me wrong.

As we await Moammar Gadhafi to be brought to justice in The Hague, so too should George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. These three should be given legal representation and full, proper, transparent trials.

They need to be brought to justice. No matter who perpetrates acts so grievous they are termed "war crimes," such actions should not be tolerated or accepted by anyone.

Even by the Harper government.
A Canadian who endorses the use of torture replies.

To which I would reply if I replied:
Interesting this correspondent says that waterboarding was successful. It actually was, but not in the way he thinks.

The Americans took their waterboarding techniques from their own S.E.R.E. (Survival, Evasion, Resistance and Escape) program, meant to train soldiers how to endure torture by the communists (soldiers came back from the Korean war with stories of torture, so the program was created on how to withstand those techniques). The Bush administration "reverse engineered" these techniques and instructed its people in how to perform these acts.

The thing is, analysts and historians (and some communists who later confessed) know why and in what way waterboarding and other techniques were used during the Cold War: to force false confessions for propaganda purposes -- never for intelligence gathering. The techniques were created to extract lies from people.

The communists wanted a quick and ruthless way to make people confess to crimes they hadn't committed, and then filmed American pilots who'd been shot down, admitting anything the communists wanted them to admit.

That's how the Americans are using waterboarding, et al. Not for intelligence, but to manufacture an enemy and gather false confessions.

So, the correspondent is technically correct -- waterboarding has been successful. It's gotten a horde of very unlucky people to confess to acts they never committed and implicate people who never did anything, either.

Has this made us safer? No, it's made America more hated than ever around the world. As a Canadian who has been mistaken countless times abroad for being an American (based on my accent), this is a direct threat to my safety when travelling.

How do I know this about waterboarding? One of the few, effective FBI interrogators, Ali Soufan, has written a book about torture and how ineffective it is. Other, serious, responsible people who interrogate suspects for a living all say that torture only elicits false confessions, never usable information, because people will say anything to make the torture stop.

And, at the end of the day, torture is a recognized war crime. The correspondent may endorse the use of torture, but that doesn't change its legal definition. It's recognized around the world, among all thinking, civilized people, as barbaric, inhuman and criminal.

It says a lot about a person who would endorse it.

Manimal finds love!

No one ever thought it would happen -- Manimal has found love, and with one of his own species, at that!

'80s TV hero, Manimal, has walked the earth alone since the cancellation of his popular show. Finding work, making ends meet were all he could hope for. Love? Love was out of the question.

That is until he met the Spain's 85 year old Duchess of Alba who, too, is a Manimal.

Decades separate them, chronologically. Thousands of miles had separated them, geographically. Yet, the lovers found each other.

In this cynical day and age, where even Steve Jobs can die, it's refreshing to learn that even Manimal can find love!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011

Raymond Davis enjoying freedom

After CIA contractor Raymond Davis was sprung from a Pakistani prison in 2010 when $2.3 million of US taxpayers' money was paid to the families of two men he murdered, Davis returned to America and recently demonstrated how he's making use of his new lease on life: punching out a middle-aged man in a bagel shop parking lot over a parking space.

The incident took place in Colorado. Davis has been charged with third-degree assault and disorderly conduct.

In response to this trouble contractor once again finding himself in trouble, the CIA and US government are prepared to grant him free parking for the rest of his life in the continental United States.

"We acknowledge that the parking space over which Raymond Davis punched a mildde-aged civilian was a free parking space," said a CIA spokesperson in a press conference, "so we're not only granting Davis free parking for life, but dibs on all unmetered parking spaces he may desire. We ask for the help of the American people with this matter. We're at war in three and a half countries and this is a time for shared sacrifice. So, starting on October 3, 2011, if Raymond Davis wants your parking space, give it to him."

Davis was not available for comment, but a pedestrian walking past the headquarters of Davis' security company, Hyperion Protective Consultants, responded to questions about the situation by saying, "I think it's a pile of shit. Dibs for life on parking spaces. Barak Obama has destroyed this country."

Friday, September 30, 2011

John Baird, Foreign Affairs Minister -- You're fired

From The Globe & Mail:
The Conservative Foreign Affairs Minister demanded – and got – gold embossing on his business cards shortly after being shuffled into the portfolio last May, contrary to government rules.

Mr. Baird then ordered the word “Canada” dropped from the standard design, also against federal policy.

And he insisted that “Lester B. Pearson Building” be removed from the standard street address for Foreign Affairs’ headquarters in Ottawa, thereby erasing the name of a former Liberal prime minister and Nobel Peace Prize winner.
. . .

Dear John,

Question for you: If you don't represent Canada, who do you represent as Foreign Affairs Minister?

What would prompt me to ask such a question? Look at your business card. There's no mention of "Canada" on it, as there has always been before on Foreign Affairs ministers' business cards.

What is your rationale for asking that "Canada" be dropped from your business card? Some strange, indirect surge of asymmetrical patriotism? Trying to blaze your own trail in business card design?

The Globe & Mail points out that you demanded -- and got -- gold embossed business cards, as well. No doubt, to demonstrate that you're a modest guy.

And I see you're breaking new ground, scoring partisan points with your government issued business card, by having "Lester B. Pearson Building" stricken from it, too.

I think Fox News has a place for you on its team.

Question: Do you accept money from the country of Canada, say, in the form of a salary and perks for the position of "Foreign Affairs minister"?

Hate to tell you, but that money comes from the citizens of the country you won't list on your business card.

Or, maybe I have it all wrong, and you're not accepting money from Canadian tax payers, you know, as a matter of principle. Because it would be enormously -- cosmically -- hypocritical to remove Canada from your government issued business cards and still accept a salary from Canadians. You're an educated person. You see this, right?

It's interesting to me how counter-intuitive, how utterly contrary and disconnected the Conservative Party of Canada is.

Here we have a country that, year after year, rates in the Top 5 Most Livable Countries in the World, is voted as having the best national "brand" in the world; American tourists in droves go overseas with Canadian flag pins on their chests, hats and backpacks because Canada and Canadians are beloved everywhere.

And yet, you remove the name of that beloved country -- my country, by the way -- from your business cards.

I hate to do this by email, John -- you're fired.

Clearly you don't understand your job, your position and the decisions you're making are ridiculous and counter productive.

Even if you are not accepting money from Canadian tax payers on principle, you're fired.

This is about more than money and business cards. It's about a country that is respected around the globe, a country filled with quirky, polite-to-a-fault patriotic folks who wouldn't hesitate to have the word "Canada" appear on their business cards. You've offended these people.

Surely you understand that you're a bad fit.

So, please clean out your desk and please be civil and orderly as security escorts you to the perimeter of the property.

Just to show there are no hard feelings, go ahead and take your beloved business cards, with your gold-embossed name and no mention of the country you were supposed to serve.

Take the business cards -- we have to print up a proper batch, anyhow.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Flashback: Interview with Steve Shell from the 2009 Conspiracy Con

Radio personality Steve Shell has not been heard from since walking away from his top-rated show in February. A fire in May destroyed the archive of his show, I Don't Believe You, and a series of server outages -- including here at Inside the Hotdog Factory -- have wiped out many of the articles that first brought Shell to fame in conspiracy circles.

The good guys at Through the Keyhole won one today when they managed to retrieve this 2009 interview with Steve Shell.

TTKH is still offline, so they passed a portion of the interview to us here, and the full interview can be found on the Limited Hangout website.

* * *

(Originally appeared in the Fall 2009 issue of Through the Keyhole)

Through the Keyhole: Steve, thanks for taking the time to talk to us. I'd like to jump right in and ask you about the controversy surrounding a comment you recently made, comparing the annual 9/11 commemorations to the Jerry Lewis Telethon.

Steve Shell: (groans).

TTKH: Is this something you honesty believe or was it just a moment of -- ?

SS: It wasn't one of my more thoughtful statements, that's for sure. It came from a frustration with the failure of the 9/11 Commission Report, which even the 9/11 Commissioners admit was inadequate. Rather than a proper investigation, we get sanctimonious politicians making speeches at memorial ceremonies. We get all the pseudo-patriot flag wavers who believe love of country is best expressed by not holding our leaders accountable for their actions. And the same way the Jerry Lewis Telethon is an annual event to make everybody feel guilty on Labor Day and to get Lewis' craven mug on our TV screens, the 9/11 commemorations revel in the fear, misery and bureaucratic gluttony that's robbed us of our freedoms, but hasn't made us one bit safer.

TTKH: That's not exactly a retraction.

SS: (laughs). No, I guess it's not.

TTKH: Before those statements about 9/11, though, you were no stranger to controversy. I'm thinking of your efforts to revive interest in the Gary Webb book Dark Alliance, about CIA drug smuggling into the US, particularly under the supervision of Oliver North during the late 1980s.

SS: No one's ever refuted Gary Webb's assertions --

TTKH: Oliver North has.

SS: OK, that's true, but what's his alternative? North's a proven liar . . . he's admitted under oath that he would do anything legal or illegal to protect his superiors.

TTKH: But Gary Webb's suicide didn't cause you to rethink the veracity of his book?

SS: Not at all. Gary was run right into the ground. His newspaper at the time -- the San Joses Mercury -- backed him at first, posting all his supporting evidence on their website. But pretty soon, Webb's editors caved to outside pressure and hung him out to dry. Web should've won a Pulitzer Prize for his book. Instead, he became unemployed and unemployable. Nobody would touch him. But no one refuted his accusations. They destroyed the man, but nobody has proven him wrong.

TTKH: Mythical, omnipresent "They"?

SS: I'm sure the people who fired Gary have names, as did the people who directed them to fire Gary had names. You're a reporter, you could look up those names.

TTKH: But you're not among the people who believe Webb was murdered, even though he committed suicide by shooting himself in the head twice.

SS: I'm not so sure about that.

Read the rest of the interview at Limited Hangout.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Bono Shades for Africa

Since there's no hope of getting rid of the warlords who intercept nearly all international aid to Africa;

And since there is no hope that western nations might one day stop meddling in African affairs in order to rob the continent of its natural resources;

And since nearly all monies donated to African relief efforts have been the very definition of "throwing good money after bad";

Inside the Hotdog Factory has decided to jump into the game and get into the philanthropy business (and a good business it is!), not only raising money for Africa, but finally seeking to outfit the continent with what it truly needs: Bono shades.

Sure, food, shelter, clean water, mosquito nets, schools, infrastructure, stability, and a little rain are all things Africa needs, but nobody can provide them.

"Bono Shades for Africa" is an initiative with tangible, realistic, achievable goals -- that every man, woman and child in Africa have a pair of Bono shades by the year 2022.

It won't make the people of Africa less hungry, less susceptible to disease, make them safer, happier or one nickel richer. But neither has any other initiative in Africa.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Is a missing radio show host being digitally disappeared?

"Beware what you post online," goes current conventional wisdom, "because it'll be on the Internet forever."

Old convictions, embarrassing photographs, blog posts and social networking pages -- we hear stories everyday of people being haunted by their digital pasts; losing jobs, relationships and respect because of what they have posted online.

Which makes it all the more curious why a Google search of once-renowned radio personality Steve Shell yields no results.

Gone are Shell's Facebook page, his radio show's Web site, his LinkedIn, Twitter and Flickr accounts.

It's one thing for a person to decide he's done sharing his life online and closing his accounts, but no private citizen has the power to wipe out the cached versions of his online life.

Which begs the questions: Who is digitally disappearing Steve Shell. MORE.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Elect the conservative rat king

So, Michelle Bachman, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Ron Paul, Tim Pawlenty, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are vying for the Republican nomination for the next presidential election.

I say the candidates' tails should be tied together and that the whole rat king run as one privatizing, tax-cutting, Shariah-law-hating entity.

Why not?

Each has their own unique vision for destroying America. Nominate only one of these malignant geniuses and you risk losing six other not-so-beautiful minds that bring their own personal, hellish vision for the country.

Also, each is rather pathetic on their own (aside from the ballsy Ron Paul), but the cancerous whole would at least have a the morbid appeal of a carnival freak on the campaign trail.

The only consolation about the U.S. being systematically disassembled by the rich and powerful is that this woeful gaggle of twits is the best their money can buy.

At least, in one respect, the Koch Brothers, et al, have been ripped off.

Friday, June 10, 2011

Alabama Deals a Severe Blow to Immigrants

From the LA Times: "Reporting from Atlanta— Alabama set a new national standard for get-tough immigration policy Thursday with Gov. Robert J. Bentley's signing of a law that surpasses Arizona's SB 1070, with provisions affecting law enforcement, transportation, apartment rentals, employment and education.

"The new law, combined with legislation passed in May by neighboring Georgia, has arguably made this swath of the Deep South the nation's hottest immigration battleground, with the region's troubled racial history fueling the fire."

Gallup Report reveals "composite" American politician and Cantor and Boehner reveal strategy for America

A long lost report about the public's perception of politicians, compiled by the Gallup Organization, has been unearthed.

Dating from the 1980 presidential campaign, thousands of Americans answered questions about how they perceived politicians.

Tuesday, June 07, 2011

A new high in low of airline advertising

Was Spirit Airlines hacked by a disgruntled employee or were its advertising copy writers given the task of dusting off all those old, schoolyard boner jokes for this new campaign that is clearly aimed at those living the "life of the mind"?

Spirit Airlines is clearly not only about low costs, but also the lowest common denominator.

Turns out, the airline wasn't hacked. They thought up this embarrassingly stupid campaign all on their own, with no help from a malicious hacker.

Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Autobiography of former mayor Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, due out soon!

Reps Paul Ryan & Eric Cantor weigh in on Alameda man who drowned in full view of police and fire fighters

Budget Czar, Rep. Paul Ryan applauded Alameda, California police and firefighters this past weekend when that city's fiscal responsibility led to decertifying its rescue personnel for water rescues -- which led to members of both the police force and fire brigade standing on shore watching a suicidal man drown.
ALAMEDA, Calif. (KGO) -- Alameda police and firefighters stood by and watched as a man drowned off Crown Beach in Alameda on Monday. Authorities are now trying to explain why they had no choice but to stand on the shoreline.
. . .

Death of Beached Whale Ignites Cries for More Training

After Reggie the Sperm Whale tragically died on Redcar beach in northern England today, environmentalists announced they would undertake a training program to teach beached whales how to roll back to the water.

Hundreds of curious onlookers flocked to the beach to see the stranded 40 foot long whale. Local fire and rescue personnel plied Reggie with water, as resident logistical experts struggled to formulate a plan for returning the whale to the North Sea.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Harold Camping Prize

Impressed by Nonagenarian Harold Camping's ability to predict the Rapture, evangelicals have created the Camping Prize -- the right-wing, conservative answer to the irrelevant, left-wing Nobel Prize.

A conservative group with ties to Koch Industries, known as "Conservative Republican American Patriots", (C.R.A.P.), announced the creation of the Camping Prize in a news release today, which stated in part:

"Enough with whiny, communist writers, scientists, economists and peace-niks receiving this hollow accolades, bringing them prestige and prize money. It's time to reward patriots for their patriotism in the pursuit of patriotism."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Tragic news for Christians everywhere: May 21st comes and goes and world doesn't end

Letter from Inside the Hotdog Factory to Harold Camping and Family Radio at
Well, Harold Camping and Family Radio, you are liars, frauds, charlatans, shysters and bad prognosticators.

Your billboard about May 21st being the day of judgment was just another bad joke that makes religious people look like fools.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rep. Eric Cantor to propose "Defense of the Wealthy" bill

House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor, is expected to introduce the "Defense of the Wealthy" bill in Congress next week.

In response to Democratic attempts to roll back tax breaks for oil companies, Cantor and the GOP have decided enough is enough.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Rep. Eric Cantor to propose "Defense of the Wealthy" bill

As law makers grill oil executives on Capitol Hill today, insiders are saying that GOP House Leader, Eric Cantor, is set to introduce the "Defense of the Wealthy" bill sometime next week.

During the worst recession in several generations, Democrats are questioning why the oil industry -- which is pulling in record profits -- is still receiving plum tax breaks.

Who needs facts when we can simply call someone a "conspiracy theorist"?

There are magicians among us.

Somewhere along the line, they turned "pollution" into "climate change." Swapped one word for another and thus turned irrefutable fact (that pollution is unhealthy for human beings) into a debate (is climate change occurring because of human beings or would it be happening if we weren't here at all?).

To a certain extent, we can thank Frank Luntz for this.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Bullshit Fatigue on the Decade-Long 9/11 Ride

As I watched live news coverage of the burning WTC in New York on September 11, 2001, I remember thinking the story that would come out of the day -- beyond the planes hitting the buildings, of course -- would be the people stranded on the roof smothering to death on the smoke rising from the gashes in the buildings.

Then the first building fell.

Watching it, I experienced a sensation I hadn't felt since I was seven years old, when I fell out of a tree, landed on my back and knocked the wind out of myself. Not since that moment had I felt that supreme, blank, slate-wiping shock of complete and utter sensory overload.

Monday, May 02, 2011

And who gets the credit for the intelligence that supposedly found Osama Bin Laden?

The torturers in CIA black sites overseas and at the American concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba are being credited with obtaining the intelligence that supposedly led to Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.

From Bin Laden Intel May Have Come From Gitmo: Rumsfeld

From the Officials: CIA interrogators at secret prisons developed first strands that led to bin Laden

Quotes from "Bin Laden is Dead!" celebrations

As further proof that the Olympics should be held every six months with only the United States competing (so the country can work out its excess need to chant "USA! USA!" and otherwise riot in city streets waving its flag), Americans took to the streets in New York, Washington, D.C., and elsewhere, celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden as though Charlie Sheen had single-handedly won the Super Bowl.

America, thy middle name is "Convenience"!

From the LA Times: "WASHINGTON— A U.S. official says Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden has been buried at sea."

As the wreckage of the World Trade Center buildings were cleared from Ground Zero in record time, locked away in secure scrap yards and then hastily sold to Third World countries, so too has the body of Osama Bin Laden been tidily dispatched to the watery depths.

The gift that keeps on giving

Headline from MSNBC: Many Worry Bin Laden's Death Could Spark Attack

Talk about making use of every part of the swine -- even its squeak!

American intelligence and politicians have spent 10 years wringing every last bit of malevolent usefulness out of omnipresent Osama Bin Laden.

Now, even in death, Bin Laden is proving useful.

Osama Bin Oswald is Dead: High Fives All 'Round American Psy-ops Shops

In a coincidence so contrived it might have come out of a James Cameron film, American psy-ops (psychological operations) technicians have finally pulled the plug on their most successful bogeyman yet: Osama Bin Laden.

With waning support of its foreign wars, declining confidence in its intelligence community, the American public was ripe for the latest psy-ops coup.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Will Canada have its own election debacle like Florida in the 2000 US presidential race, or Ohio in 2004?

A "vote mob", availing of Wednesday's special ballot at the University of Guelph was unceremoniously interrupted when Michael Sona -- communications director for Guelph Conservative candidate Marty Burke -- attempted to confiscate the ballot box.
From the Guelph Mercury:

“[Sona] tried to grab for the ballot box. I’m not sure he got his hand on the box, but he definitely grabbed for it,” said Brenna Anstett, a student, who at the time of the reported incident was sealing her second of two envelopes containing her vote.

Student Claire Whalen was just about to receive her ballot just before 5 p.m. when the episode unfolded.

Saturday, April 09, 2011

Prancing with the 'Tards

Look at this preening, pandering ass.

Charlie Sheen displays his custom Detroit Tigers jersey with such sureal swagger, you'd think he'd just skinned it off a mother lion protecting her young on Woodward Avenue.

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Interview with Prime Minister Stephen Harper

Prime Minister Stephen Harper demonstrating his technique for strangling baby seals.

Inside the Hotdog Factory had the privilege -- nay, the honor -- to be vetted, background checked, cavity searched, Facebook scrutinized in order to sit down with Prime Minister for an exclusive interview.

Fashion Week in the Hotdog Factory

This modest piece titled "Archangel" elegantly showcases the wearer's navel, while diminishing the distraction of the face (human faces are so 1980s).

Monday, April 04, 2011

"Torpedo of Truth" torpedoed

While dying the death of a thousand self-inflicted cuts in Detroit, Charlie Sheen can be happy about one thing: he didn't pull a Michael Richards.

Things got bad, but not that bad.

Charlie Sheen's "Torpedo of Truth/Failure is Not an Option" tour opened and tanked in Detroit.

The only person who didn't see disaster coming was Charlie Sheen. The organizers, I'm sure were indfferent, because once Sheen took the stage, they would, Sheen told a heckler in the audience, "Sorry dude, already got your money.".

Saturday, April 02, 2011

Dear Voting Public, you're not getting it, so let me lay it out for you

A few years back I was on the boardwalk in Brighton Beach, England. I approached a series of concession stands and as I walked down the line, observing the selections, I noticed something:

The walls separating each concession stand had an open doorway in it.

Then I noticed something else: Not every concession stand was manned by a counter person.

As I walked down the line, passed pizza counter, the hotdog counter, ice cream counter, fish and chips counter, I noticed something else:

The entire line of concession stands was being worked by a single, breathless teenage girl who ran from counter to counter to counter, taking orders, making food, pouring drinks, making change, and then fleeing through the open doorway to whatever other counter.

The concession stand is symbolic for the shallow variety and illusion of choice in our democracy. No matter which counter you go to, the same face is there to greet you, the same hands are there to make your food or pour your drinks. Everything is equally over-priced and of all the same dismal quality.

The girl behind the counter is representative of our political class, which I think should be more accurately labeled, the Scoundrel Class. They will pander, run through whatever doorway, make whatever promises are necessary in order to get from you what they want: votes.

That's the easy part of this analysis.

Here's the hard part:

Conservatives want one thing -- to control the populace. That's why conservatives tend to be religious, militaristic and put forth the lie of being "fiscally responsible."

Conservatives are religious because that's yet another club to which to belong in order to look down on others. All things being equal amid a group of people, a fantastic row can be started by invoking religion. It's the last and greatest divider of people.

Conservatives are militaristic because they don't believe in negotiation, debate, conversation, sharing ideas, seeing both sides, listening, or otherwise engaging their minds in anything other than a self-serving endeavor.

Conservatives are militaristic because they want to take what they want. They don't want to buy it, or barter for it. They want what they want, and they want to take it.

Conservatives preach "freedom" but really only want to control people. Hence the call for building more prisons in Canada as the crime rates are dropping. A definite case can be made that harsher sentences should be handed out to our murderers and rapists and white collar criminals. But the fact remains, the rate of crime in Canada is decreasing.

Conservatives want more prisons because they want to put more people into them. Hence, "mandatory minimums" for people caught with the dreaded offender of civilization: marijuana.

Conservatives preach "freedom", but want to control who people marry, what they put into their bodies. Moreover, conservatives want to control what is taught in school so that it's complimentary to conservative

The Liberal Party of Canada is an object less in self-sabotage. Prime Minister Stephen Harper has served himself up like a badminton birdie to the Liberal Party more times than can be counted:
  • Proroguing Parliament three times as PM;
  • Criticizing the appointment of senators while part of the official opposition, and then appointing more senators than any other prime minister in history after becoming PM
  • Non-chalance over the Bev Oda affair
  • Being slapped down in the UN when Canada sought to be on the Security Council
  • Now, Stephen Harper announces he won't answer more than five questions a day from the Canadian press
  • Hell, someone put together a list of 100 Reasons NOT To Vote For Stephen Harper's Conservative Party

The PayPal Penitentials

It takes an amalgamation of the worst human tendencies to create a corporation.

There's a reason why scientists perform experiments on rats anytime they want to learn something new about human beings.

PayPal, for instance.

Friday, April 01, 2011

We just receive email, but there's nobody here to reply

Billboards showing a message that read "Judgment Day is Coming May 21, 2011" began showing up in my city a couple of months ago.

The only indication as to who was behind these signs is a single Web address:

Monday, March 28, 2011

JUDGMENT DAY IS COMING . . . (but we're not prepared to talk about it)

A billboard sign in my city has been saddled with the sad and stupid message "Judgment Day is Coming May 21, 2011."

No, it's not. You know it. I know it.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

The Web Designer and the Cop

When I'm not fighting for truth and justice on this blog, I am an ordinary, workaday Web designer.

On a daily basis, dealing with clients, I'm asked to violate the basic tenets of Web site: Links to pages that say "Coming Soon" or "Under Construction"; pages that look like eye charts due to the multitude of different sized text, differing fonts and even differing colors to emphasize various bits of information; linking to multiple pages -- usually a jazzy Flash piece -- when best practices dictates I should just link to the end page.

Putting the "Mind" in "Minden" one white supremacist at a time

From "MINDEN, Ont. — A private Canada Day weekend party in Minden, Ont., with the theme 'White Village to White Village' is being unfairly portrayed as a white supremacist gathering, its organizer says."

White supremacists get such a bad wrap.

They go to all the trouble of living life as several different races, trying it out as a black person, Asian, Native Canadian, maybe even Indian. Then, when they tabulate their experiences, and decide that life as a caucasian person was preferable, everyone gets all pissy and judgmental.