Osama Bin Oswald is Dead: High Fives All 'Round American Psy-ops Shops

In a coincidence so contrived it might have come out of a James Cameron film, American psy-ops (psychological operations) technicians have finally pulled the plug on their most successful bogeyman yet: Osama Bin Laden.

With waning support of its foreign wars, declining confidence in its intelligence community, the American public was ripe for the latest psy-ops coup.

Donald Rumsfeld's Autobiography

Noted war criminal Donald Rumsfeld has published his long-awaited autobiography in which he dodges -- with the docile, lithe flexibility of a teenager or career liar -- any and all responsibility for his actions in government.