Tuesday, May 31, 2011

The Harold Camping Prize

Impressed by Nonagenarian Harold Camping's ability to predict the Rapture, evangelicals have created the Camping Prize -- the right-wing, conservative answer to the irrelevant, left-wing Nobel Prize.

A conservative group with ties to Koch Industries, known as "Conservative Republican American Patriots", (C.R.A.P.), announced the creation of the Camping Prize in a news release today, which stated in part:

"Enough with whiny, communist writers, scientists, economists and peace-niks receiving this hollow accolades, bringing them prestige and prize money. It's time to reward patriots for their patriotism in the pursuit of patriotism."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Tragic news for Christians everywhere: May 21st comes and goes and world doesn't end

Letter from Inside the Hotdog Factory to Harold Camping and Family Radio at familyradio@familyradio.org:
Well, Harold Camping and Family Radio, you are liars, frauds, charlatans, shysters and bad prognosticators.

Your billboard about May 21st being the day of judgment was just another bad joke that makes religious people look like fools.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Rep. Eric Cantor to propose "Defense of the Wealthy" bill

House Majority Leader, Eric Cantor, is expected to introduce the "Defense of the Wealthy" bill in Congress next week.

In response to Democratic attempts to roll back tax breaks for oil companies, Cantor and the GOP have decided enough is enough.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Rep. Eric Cantor to propose "Defense of the Wealthy" bill

As law makers grill oil executives on Capitol Hill today, insiders are saying that GOP House Leader, Eric Cantor, is set to introduce the "Defense of the Wealthy" bill sometime next week.

During the worst recession in several generations, Democrats are questioning why the oil industry -- which is pulling in record profits -- is still receiving plum tax breaks.

Who needs facts when we can simply call someone a "conspiracy theorist"?

There are magicians among us.

Somewhere along the line, they turned "pollution" into "climate change." Swapped one word for another and thus turned irrefutable fact (that pollution is unhealthy for human beings) into a debate (is climate change occurring because of human beings or would it be happening if we weren't here at all?).

To a certain extent, we can thank Frank Luntz for this.

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Bullshit Fatigue on the Decade-Long 9/11 Ride

As I watched live news coverage of the burning WTC in New York on September 11, 2001, I remember thinking the story that would come out of the day -- beyond the planes hitting the buildings, of course -- would be the people stranded on the roof smothering to death on the smoke rising from the gashes in the buildings.

Then the first building fell.

Watching it, I experienced a sensation I hadn't felt since I was seven years old, when I fell out of a tree, landed on my back and knocked the wind out of myself. Not since that moment had I felt that supreme, blank, slate-wiping shock of complete and utter sensory overload.

Monday, May 02, 2011

And who gets the credit for the intelligence that supposedly found Osama Bin Laden?

The torturers in CIA black sites overseas and at the American concentration camp at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba are being credited with obtaining the intelligence that supposedly led to Osama Bin Laden in Pakistan.

From Newser.com: Bin Laden Intel May Have Come From Gitmo: Rumsfeld

From the StarTribune.com: Officials: CIA interrogators at secret prisons developed first strands that led to bin Laden

Quotes from "Bin Laden is Dead!" celebrations

As further proof that the Olympics should be held every six months with only the United States competing (so the country can work out its excess need to chant "USA! USA!" and otherwise riot in city streets waving its flag), Americans took to the streets in New York, Washington, D.C., and elsewhere, celebrating the death of Osama Bin Laden as though Charlie Sheen had single-handedly won the Super Bowl.

America, thy middle name is "Convenience"!

From the LA Times: "WASHINGTON— A U.S. official says Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden has been buried at sea."

As the wreckage of the World Trade Center buildings were cleared from Ground Zero in record time, locked away in secure scrap yards and then hastily sold to Third World countries, so too has the body of Osama Bin Laden been tidily dispatched to the watery depths.

The gift that keeps on giving

Headline from MSNBC: Many Worry Bin Laden's Death Could Spark Attack

Talk about making use of every part of the swine -- even its squeak!

American intelligence and politicians have spent 10 years wringing every last bit of malevolent usefulness out of omnipresent Osama Bin Laden.

Now, even in death, Bin Laden is proving useful.

Osama Bin Oswald is Dead: High Fives All 'Round American Psy-ops Shops

In a coincidence so contrived it might have come out of a James Cameron film, American psy-ops (psychological operations) technicians have finally pulled the plug on their most successful bogeyman yet: Osama Bin Laden.

With waning support of its foreign wars, declining confidence in its intelligence community, the American public was ripe for the latest psy-ops coup.