Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Subway Please Don't Cut My Sandwich - Your Knife is the Height of Skank

The last time I allowed my sandwich at Subway to be cut in half by the counter person was in 1997. That day I was having a meatball sub. When I got to work, where I settled in to eat my sandwich, I saw that the counter person's knife had left a residue of mustard, tuna, and god only knows what else on my pristine meatball sub. It was disgusting.

Sure, Subway provides a rag on which its sandwich artists wipe their knives after cutting our sandwiches. This is hardly an answer. That rag is the height of skank, too, goddamn it!

For all the show the food industry makes of its employees wearing hairnets, rubber gloves, plastic gloves (the Cracker Barrell bio-hazard suits on the kitchen staff are my personal favorite -- are they wearing those to be protected from what goes into the food or are these people so diseased this is the only way to shield the food from the contaminated, though cheap, help?), I cannot believe that someone hasn't yet solved the Subway Knife Conundrum.

Aside from having a bin of disposable plastic knives under the counter -- one knife used to cut one sandwich, then discarded, or sterilized in some way -- I don't see how I'll ever have a sandwich cut by a Subway sandwich artist ever again. This problem has definitely had an impact on my visits to Subway.

I did, however, go there today. Just as the counter person moved to cut my sandwich, I stopped her. But she managed to use that fucking awful knife to further jam the contents of my sandwich within the bread. I began to explain my problem with her knife, but it was lost on her. I'm just another guy, with another complaint, in a world of sandwiches.


Unknown said...

I laughed and laughed and laughed!
I think this almost every day.

It's not just the knife, I take it as a personal dare when I get the tuna and that little spatula is pulled from it's spot in the primordial soup and is used.

LOL, I think of it like a game of bacterialogical chicken!

Mike Simpson said...

Lol. I thought I was the only one who hated the knife.

Whetam Gnauckweirst said...

Thanks man! I also thought I was alone in this, too.

Thanks for reading!

pikapal said...

I know how you feel. The rest of my family doesn't get why I refuse to eat there. They think I'm "making it up." @o@