Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Banana Republic of Detroit

No Speech Audience, Church Setting Slammed: has learned Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick will deliver his speech Wednesday from a room in his church that will be virtually empty. There will be no audience and reporters are being barred from the speech.

Kilpatrick's speech, his first public comments since the sex-text scandal broke, is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. at Greater Emmanuel Institutional Church of God in Christ.

From Mayor's Office...
"The address is scheduled to begin at 7:30 p.m. There will be no audience. There will be no reporters allowed inside. There will be no still photography allowed inside. The mayor will not do any interviews.

"We are asking that you remind your viewers... that this is not a public event and they can tune into stations that will be broadcasting the address live."
The travails of Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick are beginning to resemble something out of Dr. Strangelove were it written by Roald Dahl and directed by Terry Gilliam.

So, Kwame Kilpatrick has booked an empty room at his church from which to make his grand statement. With all the conjecture about whether or not the mayor will resign, maybe Kwame is going to hit Detroiters with some asymmetrical warfare and use the occasion to declare a Thousand Year Reich in Detroit. That could be the first genuine surprise in this sad, maddening, predictable saga surrounding this scoundrel mayor.

An editorial in the Detroit Free Press says "It's disappointing that Kilpatrick chose his church . . . as the setting for tonight's speech. It looks contrived, at best."

Contrived? No, the past week of the mayor's political career has veered into surreal travesty. At best, Kwame addressing the city of Detroit from an empty room in his church is the utter definition of farce. In fact, addressing the city from a bastion of hypocrisy makes perfect sense.

As one observer, I have no idea why the mayor would bother addressing the city of Detroit at all. There is no one in a position of authority willing hold him accountable for his numerous misdeeds. Aside from the avalanche of text messages that flitted between himself and his chief of staff being revealed, there's nothing occurring in this term of his mayorship that did not take place in the first term. Kwame's as arrogant, stupid and self-interested as he was the day he was first elected by his sorely abused electorate. Among his supporters, he has nothing to apologize for. Among everyone else, there's nothing short of resigning immediately -- and he's more apt to walk across the Detroit River and feed Windsor, Ontario with loaves and fishes before that occurs -- that would untarnish his thoroughly shat-upon image.

That said, to anyone other than his most devoted, deranged supporters, Kwame is an utter disgrace. Let him address an empty room in his church. Any apology he utters will have all the sincerity of Jimmy Swaggart bawling "I have sinned!" onstage before his own brainwashed multitudes in the 1980s. Any words of contrition from Kwame will ring as hollow as they did the first time he uttered those insincere platitudes years ago.

The only thing that will satisfy most Kwame-watchers is if he pledges to resign immediately, sets a date to burn his pimp suits in Hart Plaza and announces he's moving to Florida to open a micro-brewery cum brothel cum bail bond firm.

Short of that, what the hell does anyone expect to hear from this shameless, humiliated politician?

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