Wednesday, June 10, 2009

David Carradine: Posthumous Spokesman for Auto-erotic Asphyxia Safety

It appears that Grasshopper failed his final test: how to get-off in Thailand without dying. Many try, few succeed.

Anyhow, dignity is so 20th Century. Maybe Lou Reed was right when he said that ". . . human life [is] not worth more than infected yeast."

For those who do believe in life and in taking ridiculously stupid gambles on losing it, there is the new government program: No Perv Left Behind.

Auto-erotic Asphyxia Safety has been neglected for far too long. How many innocent lives have to be lost before this uplifting hobby receives the same honest consideration as the automobile seat belt?

And now one of our greatest lights has been extinguished: David Carradine.

In a world sorely lacking in authenticity, he will be missed.

But one does have to step back and wonder what he was doing. He was in Thailand, the Disney World of illicit carnal convolutions. He could have paid $1,000 to have intercourse with an exotic plant that looked like Ava Gardner. But he opted for the sexually charged ambiance of his closet.

So, as Yul Brynner came back from the grave in anti-smoking advertisements, look for Grasshopper to sagely teach about Auto-erotic Asphyxia Safety.

Because, getting off is too important and avoiding stupid risks is just no fun.

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