Come down to the George W. Bush lib'ary now and get half off all Civil War memorabilias!
We got fun for the kiddies with our possum-catching pen.
Ladies will love the Laura W. Bush kitchen and sewing stuff store.
Men, we got a shootin' range better'n Fort Benning's. There's horseshoe pits, BBQ, TV dinners scraped out onto paper plates by onsite unpaid prison laborers and kegs-o'-suds everywhere you turn!
Just, please, be sure to aim your puke into the grass!
Now, I hear people saying, "Wurlton, why in the hale would I wanna waste an affernoon in a gawddamned lib'ary? I quit school in fourth grade cuz I's sick books!"
Well, I'll tell you -- we only call the George W. Bush Shithouse a "lib'ary" so's we could qualify for fed'ral fundin'. Hey, if those socialist commies granola-eaters are gonna out free money, we may as well get ours!
So, come on down! We're more fun than the Creationist Museum! We're only two miles from the nearest Cracker Barrel! There's a full service evangelical church on site holdin' services every 45 minutes -- worshippin' so hard we're prolly tiring out Gawd Hisself!
Bring your family, bring your gun, bring your Bible!
The George W. Bush Lib'ary: fun for Goobers, Goobettes and Gooblets alike!