Wolf Blitz-krieg

Wolf Blitzer showing he's got the stuff to prosecute a case in the Hague against Wikileaks -- file photo of him performing in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat in the role of Joseph in Minneapolis, 1995.

Canned News Network entertainer, Wolf Blitzer, is not only pressuring US authorities to prosecute Wikileaks for its recent release of 250,000 American diplomatic cables -- Blitzer is demanding to act as prosecutor in the courtroom, as well.

When CNN entertainer, John Roberts, pointed out to Blitzer that he has no legal or courtroom experience, Blitzer was quickly on the offensive, saying, "I never had any television experience before CNN, but look at me now!"

It was then that John Roberts turned back to the camera and said, "If this is any indication of the ferocious prosecution Wolf plans for Julian Assange, the 39 year old Australian hacker is sure to be drawn and quartered."

People are still buzzing about Blitzer's impassioned condemnation of Wikileaks' latest disclosure of secret documents, and the government's less-than-robust security:

Are they doing anything at all to make sure if some 23-year-old guy, allegedly, starts downloading hundreds of thousands of cables, hundreds of thousands of copies of sensitive information, that no one pays attention to that, no one in the security system of the United States government bothers to see someone is downloading all these millions -- literally millions of documents? . . . at this point, you know, it -- it's amazing to me that the U.S. government security system is so lax that someone could allegedly do this kind of damage just by simply pretending to be listening to a Lady Gaga C.D. and at the same time downloading all these kinds of documents.

In a candid moment away from the cameras in the Canned News Network headquarters, Inside the Hotdog Factory asked Blitzer why this was so personal.

Blitzer replied, "I just can't stand by and watch as our country's powerful elite are embarrassed by the release of their own words to the illiterate public."