Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The Supreme Court of Break-away American State, Philistinia, Proclaims Constitution "Unconstitutional"

Making news for the first time in more than 72 years, the little-known break-away American state, Philistinia -- comprised of three neighborhoods on and around the Michigan/Ohio border -- has recently jumped to the fore.

Philistina's Supreme Court, today, proclaimed the much-quoted, much-referenced, much-hyped, much-beloved American Constitution to be "unconstitutional."

The Philistinians -- most being a supra-conservative, right-wing Calvinist sect -- believe that only Gawd has the authority to make laws, and that man, in his infinite sinfulness, is at base unworthy and incapable of creating and enforcing laws.

In a 19-0 decision -- the Philistinian Supreme Court has more than double the number of Justices than the American Supreme Court -- Justices Egregious Scalia and Scrotum Thomas wrote concurrent opinions that the United States Constitution is a fallacious document created by fallible, "sin squalid" men, and therefore ineligible to guide the laws and government of Gawd's Chosen.

No media was allowed to attend the presentation of the Court's decision.

The press was notified by the Philistinian tradition of the news being written on dried pig skin, the pig skin then wrapped around a brick, and the brick thus hurled through the front window of the nearest newspaper, the Gomerstead Galloper.

There has been no response so far from the Obama administration, but legal scholars predict several long days and nights lie ahead for the Justice Department as it examines and tries to pick apart the 777 page opinion.

In other news, Sarah Palin was voted Ms. Poodle Shampoo Beauty of Gomerstead, 2010.

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