Monday, November 16, 2009

Hunter Ceiling Fans: Spinning nowhere fast

First volley
Bought my Hunter ceiling fan at Costco months ago, and was appalled to find that the product came missing parts -- the "remote control receiver" and 3 6-32 machine screws. That's completely unacceptable, but what's been worse is the absolutely atrocious Hunter customer service. My wife and I have called more than once to have these items sent to us, and after literally months, we've only received the remote control receiver. The screws sent to us were the wrong ones. How does a company like Hunter pass itself off as a credible entity when it cannot get even the most basic aspects of packaging and problem resolution straight? Well, I'm a blogger and plan to share my experience with the Better Business Bureau and with I don't take kindly to being treated like a fool.

Reply from Hunter
Thank you for your email. We apologize that you have experienced a problem receiving replacement parts. Please provide the order number or phone number used when you contacted us so that we can locate your order in our system. We apologize for the inconvenience.

Please contact us again with the requested information for further assistance.

Second volley
"Please provide the order number or phone number used when you contacted us so that we can locate your order in our system."

Is that a joke? Are you joking with me? Could you put an already inconvenienced customer to more trouble? Should I also include the birthday and favorite color of the operator to whom I spoke?

After an arduous 17 minutes, most of which was only various forms of "hold", I spoke to a Hunter operator today and learned the screw I need is on back-order and won't be available until January 2010. Where do you get your screws? The planet Crypton? IT'S A SCREW. Do you have a single person machining your screws for your entire customer base? Ridiculous upon ridiculous. Hey, I'm only some moron who was stupid enough to buy your product. I mean, who am I that I should impose myself upon Hunter? In fact, accept my apologies for bothering you, for taking up your time.

You know what? You know that strange mental meme in Korea called "fan death?" Where Koreans are terrified of being in a room, or sleeping in a room where is a fan? I hope the fear of fan death sweeps North American. I hope it sweeps your entire customer base. Because given the level of incompetence Hunter has exhibited in my brief experience, I think it's equally irrational to purchase anything from a company that is so backward and upside-down that it takes upwards of nine months to provide a customer with THREE SCREWS. It takes nine months for a human being to form in the womb and be born -- and that's how long it takes Hunter to send me three screws that should have been in the fan I bought in the first place. Screw. Human being. In Hunter's world, both have the same gestation period. Insane.

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