Thursday, October 14, 2010

Dick Cheney being Dick Cheney is not news

Five years ago, then vice president Dick Cheney shot a hunting partner in the face and torso while quail "hunting." The word "hunting" is in quotation marks because the birds were in captivity and only when the "hunters" were at the ready with their man cannons were the quail released in front of them to be shot, practically, at point-blank range.

Such are the amusements of Dick Cheney.

Five years ago, however, Cheney mistook one of the brave hunters for a quail, filling the man's body with more than 200 lead pellets.

As quickly as humanly possible, the victim in this accident, Harry Whittington, was patched up and propped up so that he could apologize to Dick Cheney: "My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week."

You know how it goes in Dick Cheney's sphere: he shoots you and you apologize to him for being shot.

Now there is a headline on The Huffington Post shrieking that Dick Cheney never apologized to Harry Whittington.

Is there actually someone in this world who expects human traits and human conduct from this, Dick Cheney, one of the most inhuman cretins to ever walk the earth?

He has caused as much pain and suffering, death and carnage, as any of the great monsters of the 20th century. Yet he lives, wealthy and free, his name on no court docket, on no list of charges of war crimes and crimes against humanity.

If he was in better health, I'm sure his schedule would be filled with speaking engagements.

During his lifetime, Dick Cheney has displayed as much conscience and human feeling as leukemia.

I'm sure there have been cases of hemorrhoids that have shown more compassion than Dick Cheney has ever evinced in his life.

There are types of farm machinery that possess more empathy than Dick Cheney.

This is not to say that Dick Cheney is a robot. Far from it.

Dick Cheney is a tumor in humanoid form. Bile runs through his veins. He is filled with green fly goo. He has assimmilated well to our ways and customs. It's just that nowhere inside of that animated carcass that is draft-dodging, war mongering, war profiteering, carnage-perpetrating, innocents-murdering and freedom-crushing Dick Cheney, is there an actual, functioning human being.

So, he didn't apologize to the guy whom he shot in the face?

Mark it down on the miles long list of Cheney's egregious acts.


Anonymous said...

wow....this is the worst case of propaganda ive ever heard. Dick Cheney was horrified by this incident and immediately apologized. The man he shot was a dear friend and it was amazing to see what forgiveness truly is. You have no right to bash Cheney. The only person that has a right was the man he shot and he showed what it is like to be a real human. Unlike some people who sit behind a computer screen and think that the Huffington Post actually writes truth. Get your facts straight and your ugly liberal attitude out of this world. Good luck gary the grumpy guss.

Whetam Gnauckweirst said...

You are 100% incorrect. Dick Cheney was neither horrified, nor did he ever offer an apology.

You obviously didn't major in reason in creationist school.

Please come again!