Friday, December 10, 2010

"Is this an early Xmas gift, Chulls?" asked aroused violence-fetishist, Lady Camiller

The student protest over tuition hikes in the UK almost fell into the laps of Prince Charles and Lady Camilla, last night.

Students were in the streets of London, protesting, after the House of Commons voted to triple university tuition fees.

The protesters' angst found a target when the Royal Rolls drove right into their midst.

Cries of, "The rabble! The rabble! Chulls! The rabble!" were heard within the Royal limo, shrieked by a momentarily disconcerted Lady Camilla.

It's understood that she is now in grief counseling for having come in such close proximity to commoners.

Speaking to the press later in the evening, Prince Charles explained that Lady Camilla loves violence and that was the only part of the encounter that soothed her.

"She's a regular at the Royal dogfighting matches of Westminster," said Prince Charles. "She's devoted to the IFC and has the entire series of Ghetto Fights videos."

The Prince paused and chuckled. "On her birthday, she insisted on bringing over a band of sheriff's deputies and several assailants she'd seen on a particularly riveting episode of the American TV show COPS, I believe from the American state of Tennessee.

"We had them re-enact several scenarios out on the Royal croquet courts for our amusement. Camilla particularly enjoyed the raw thud of the police batons as they were used to bash in the baddies' faces. It was just the tonic for the bout of low spirits she's been experiencing around then. It sure put the lead in her pencil, I'll say! She was a jag-u-ar in the Royal rumpus room that night, know what I mean?

"In fact," Prince Charles continued, "Camilla thought I had organized the riot as an early Christmas gift to her. You can see the lovely look of surprise on her face in that photo circulating about in the press from last night.

"But when the rabble charged at the limousine, they violated Cammy's ten meter rule -- she cannot abide commoners being with in ten meters of her. Didn't I always tell you she had royal blood in her?"

Lady Camilla was resting after the breach of her ten meter rule and was being consoled by the ambassador from Watusitania who had generously offered to beat his wife in her presence.

1 comment:

RoyalAsshole9 said...

Chulles! I want to be invited to the next donnybrook on the croquet pitch, re-enactment or not, I also love violence, outside of the 10 meters of course!