Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Five Families of Michigan Furniture Sales meet regarding competitor's recent explosion

In the wake of the gas leak explosion that destroyed the William C. Franks furniture store in Wayne County, Michigan, the Five Families of Michigan Furniture Sales have called an emergency meeting regarding marketing in 2011.

At the top of the agenda is a resolution that the furniture families will indefinitely suspend use of the following marketing slogans:
  • Blow-out Sale!
  • Fire Sale!
  • Explosive Savings!
Clive Bunson, spokesman for Bunson Family Furniture, said: "The State of Michigan has always been known for its high-quality furniture vendors. We intend to maintain that superior degree of integrity during this troubling time."

One area of disagreement may be the slogan "Sizzlin' Savings." Three of the five Furniture Families have had decades-long success with that slogan, and an anonymous spokesperson says it will continue to be used because it was an explosion that destroyed the William C. Franks store, not a fire.

"'Sizzlin' Savings' remains on the table," our source says.

No one would go on record, but there have been rumblings amid the Michigan furniture cartel that the explosion at the William C. Franks store was no accident.

"It's suspicious," said one source who declined to be identified. "Let's just say that the hands that set up this explosion are the same hands that require customers to put together their own furniture using Allen wrenches. I won't say anymore than that!"

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