Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Andrew Shirvell, Crusader of the "Doth Protest Too Much!" Community

To The Office of the Attorney General of the State of Michigan:
I'm writing with regard to Andrew Shirvell, an assistant attorney general of Michigan, and his Internet campaign against college student Chris Armstrong, the openly gay student assembly president at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor.


I'm a writer and a satirist and Andrew Shirvell is satirical gold!

First off, he makes the Michigan AG's office look like a rodeo clown college. I mean, who would employ a person so lacking in maturity, ethics, dignity or rationality? Apparently the Michigan AG's office, that's who!

Secondly, it is ever SO clear that Andrew Shirvell is all man. I mean, any hint or inference that he, himself, is gay would be utterly inaccurate. Any suggestion that Andrew, himself, may be homosexual and is acting out his repression and conflicting feelings about that would be irresponsible and totally erroneous. Though, he sure does seem to be an expert on the many facets of the gay lifestyle and how vulnerable, confused young men might be seduced by more worldly persons of the same sex.

Moreover, it's one thing for this embarrassment to play out locally, but hurrah for Andrew Shirvell who managed to be interviewed by Anderson Cooper on CNN! And the blogosphere has just lit up with articles recounting Andrew Shirvell's bizarre and obsessive campaign against Chris Armstrong.

As an anti-establishment satirist, I applaud all of this. Anything that makes our ingrained institutions look ridiculous is OK with me.

I mean, Mike Cox comes off as so straight-laced and sanctimonious. Now, picturing Mr. Cox and Mr. Shirvell not only working in the same office, but attending the same AG Christmas party, puts a real hoola skirt on the dry, boring Attorney General of Michigan.

In the meantime, see if you can lighten Mr. Shirvell's workload somewhat to allow him more media interviews. I haven't written about Mr. Shirvell yet. But I will! I will!

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