Sunday, January 23, 2011

"A change is gonna come" sings Sam Cooke -- Uh, no it's not

A friend often talks about politics and the need for political change.

Somewhere, in a parallel universe, what he says makes perfect sense.

In this reality, however, I always confess that his statement baffles me because it does not account for one vital, crucial, undeniable fact:

People are fucking stupid.

People are desperately fucking stupid.

You could stand on a street corner handing out $100 bills with no strings attached and I guarantee you, some asshole would complain about it.

George Carlin once explained why he didn't do political humor. "Because this is the best we can do," going on to state that all politicians in the country came from American homes, schools, churches and communities.

Which led Carlin to conclude: "The public sucks."

In Canada, we have the country, the government, the bureaucracy -- the timorous roll-over offices, tribunals and bureacracies that roll-over at the least murmur by the most easily offended among us -- that we deserve. Because the vast majority of our fellow citizens abdicated citizenship for consumership. Fuck ballot boxes, "I'm voting with my feet -- I'm shopping elsewhere!"

Hence, Stephen "Eel Eye" Harper in office for five awful, stultifying years.

The fact that the prime minister prorogued parliament at all (much less twice) demonstrates that he's utterly incapable and unqualified to be the nation's leader.

Yet our wonderful, spaghetti-spined, hand-wringing, "Well, I don't know what to believe!" fellow Canadians pave the way to mediocrity with their empty complaints and zombie-adherence to the status quo.

My friend talks about what it would take to "change things."

Nobody wants anything changed.

Moses himself could rise up and seek to lead each and every Tim Horton's-addled paeon with skates in his trunk would shrug.

The Nazis had the Nazi salute. Canadians have The Shrug.

Parliament's prorogued? Shrug.

The Conservatives do away with the long form census? Shrug.

The Conservatives muzzle Canadian scientists who want to answer questions about "climate change"? Shrug.

The Conservatives want to build more prisons and institute "mandatory minimums" even though the crime rate in Canada is falling -- which Stockwell Day attributes to the fact that Canadians simply aren't snitching on one another as proficiently as in past decades. Shrug.

Harmonized Sales Tax. Shrug.

The only reason the Americans haven't taken over Canada -- Land of the Shrug, Home of the Yawn -- is that they can't find Canada.

Or, better yet, why take over what you can merely manipulate at your whim?

Why, indeed.

1 comment:

WhoGivesaShit9 said...

Damn straight brother, damn straight! You won me with the "Shrug", how telling is that to you rant. Its everything accurate about Canada, quite possibly the home of the most passive and non-committal place on the planet.

Nice work!