Tuesday, November 09, 2010

The Blowhard Diet Syllogism

Proving, yet again, that his ignorance spans more topics than are found in the Encyclopedia Britannica, King Contin spoke recently about his ideas regarding diet and exercise having no relationship to one's weight and health:
From EIB (Errors and Increased Bullshit): What have I told you about diet and exercise? Exercise is irrelevant.... "How do you know all this?" One of the reasons I know what I know is that I know liberals, and I know liberals lie, and if Michelle Obama's gonna be out there ripping into "food desserts" and saying, "This is why people are fat," I know it's not true. "Rush, do you really believe that? It's that simple to you, liberals lie?" Yes, it is, folks. Once you learn that, once you come to grips with that, once you accept that, the rest is easy. Very, very simple. Now, my doctor has never told me to restrict any intake of salt, but if he did, I wouldn't. I'd just spend more time in the steam or the sauna sweating it out.
Rush Limbaugh appears to be saying that:
Liberals lie.

Liberals say diet and exercise impact a person's weight and health.

Therefore, diet and exercise have no impact on a person's weight and health.
Rush Limbaugh is a drug addict.

Rush Limbaugh is a conservative radio talkshow blowhard.

Therefore, all conservative radio talkshow blowhards are drug addicts.
I think I have the hang of this.
Sean Hannity runs a scam charity said to benefit war veterans and their families, but really enriches Hannity, alone.

Sean Hannity works at Fox News.

Therefore, everybody who works at Fox News runs a scam charity said to benefit war veterans and their families, but in fact, only enriches themselves.
I think I've invented a new palor game!
Ted Nugent and Rush Limbaugh were eligible for military service during the Vietnam War, but both dodged that service by gaming the system.

Ted Nugent and Rush Limbaugh are pro-war conservatives.

Therefore, all conservatives are cowardly chickenhawk hypocrites who don't have the courage to live up to their own self-professed convictions.
This game has all of the innate, irrefutable logic of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall." Not even Aristotle could argue that if one of those bottles should happen to fall, there'd be anything other than 98 bottles of beer on the wall.

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