Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Not getting the service you deserve? You need the Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit

Today's world makes people feel like they're nothing but a number.

No matter where you go -- to buy airline tickets, carpet shampooers, or simply renting a car -- customer service appears, more and more, to be a lost art-form.

That's why you need the Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit!

Inspired by the true life crusader for prompt, no-line-waiting, "get outta my face cunt" service, Conservative MP Helena Guergis, the "Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit" is your life-line to getting what you want, when you want it.

For instance . . .

No seating in your favorite cafe? All the tables are occupied by people with laptops and schoolwork, and not a single one of them takes notice that you need a place to sit?

No problem!

The Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit instructs you on which table to overturn first and how to instantly identify the weakest person in the crowd so you can berate them.

Don't allow the airport to be "terminal" for you anymore.

Not getting the service you demand? The Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit tells you the Top 5 ways to utilize the word "cunt" and "motherfucker" to optimize your consumer experience.

And few people realize that "customer service" exists even between spouses. Yes, it does!

Do you have a spouse who was the only Conservative MP in his district not to be re-elected? Tired of his drunk driving and drug possession? Sick of those costly lawyers bills?

The Conservative MP Helena Guergis kit gives you the inside track to whipping that jackass back into shape.

The kit comes with a sex-withholding schedule that's guaranteed to have him whimpering on all fours. There's a strategy for calling up your old flames and setting jealous traps. There's even help in getting into your mother-in-law's head so she becomes the husband-watching-hound, not you!

Get more out of life the Helena Guergis way!

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